Best comedy movie quotes of all time

Allison: The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.

Jack MacReady: I don't care if y'are a lesbo, you don't deserve this shit!

Nick Rivers: Hillary. That's an unusual name.
Hillary Flammond: It's a German name. It means 'she whose bosoms defy gravity'.
Nick Rivers: I'm pleased to meet you. My name's Nick.
Hillary Flammond: Nick? What does that mean?
Nick Rivers: Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.

Benjamin Mee: You seem really calm.
Peter MacCready: Ah.
Benjamin Mee: Have you been drinking?
Peter MacCready: All night long.
Benjamin Mee: Thanks for that.
Peter MacCready: Anytime.

Marvin: If there's one thing I know, it's women and covert operations.
Frank: Marvin, that's two things.
Han Cho Bai: No, grasshopper. It is not.

Sam: We're supposed to be conserving water, we're in the middle of a drought.
Fiona: Droughts are for poor people. Do you think J.Lo has a brown lawn? People who use extra water have extra class!

Principal Mcgee: If you play an instrument, remember, it is better to play with a group then with yourself.

Gloria Cleary: Don't ever leave me!
Jeremy Grey: Ever.
Gloria Cleary: Good. 'Cause I'd find you!

Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends,
Cookie Fleck: Hundreds,
Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?
Cookie Fleck: Yeah, hundreds.
Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that.

Second Villager: She turned me into a newt.
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Second Villager: [After looking at himself for some time.] I got better.

Kyle: You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
Adam: No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.

Patch Adams: So what now, huh? What do you want from me? Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. So answer me please. Tell me what you're doing. Okay, let's look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies. Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day. Maybe you should've spent that day on compassion.

Stig: They're torturing chickens, man.
Bobby: What is that you're eating.
Stig: A chicken.

Truly Scrumptious: Well, Mr. Potts!
Caractacus Pott: What's wrong?
Truly Scrumptious: Now you'll have to marry me!

Gwen Grayson: I went through puberty twice for this?!

Buzz Lightyear: Quiet, musical hog!

Hannah Montana: In my defense, I totally saw those shoes first.

Danny: I haven't even told my father I'm not going to get that scholarship. I'm gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.
Ty Webb: What's wrong with lumber. I own two lumberyards.
Danny: I notice you don't spend too much time there.
Ty Webb: I'm not quite sure where they are.

Lou Landers: Thanksgiving is a time for family. Lance is the only family I have. I never married.
Jill Johnson: [Offering him fruitcake.] Fruitcake?
Lou Landers: No, I just haven't found the right woman.

Troy Bolton: East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brulee, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor. It's a place where one person, if it's the right person, changes us all. East High is having friends we'll keep for the rest of our lives, and that means we really are 'all in this together'. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat!