Best comedy movie quotes of all time

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
More Cars 3 quotes
An American Werewolf in London picture

Alex: David, please be rational. Let's go and see Dr. Hirsch.
David: Yeah, be rational. Sure. I'm a fucking werewolf, for Christ's sake.

More An American Werewolf in London quotes
Race to Witch Mountain picture

Jack Bruno: Don't go in the pimped out fridge Jack.

More Race to Witch Mountain quotes
More Life quotes
Kingsman: The Secret Service picture

Harry Hart: Manners maketh man. Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson.

More Kingsman: The Secret Service quotes
Midnight Run picture

Jack Walsh: Here come two words for you: shut the fuck up.

More Midnight Run quotes
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby picture

Female Fan: Hey driver, drive these! [Lifts shirt.]
Ricky Bobby: Oh God, please be 18.

More Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby quotes
Problem Child 2 picture

Lawanda Dumore: I hate children. They ruin everything. If I had enough power, I'd wipe them off the face of the earth.

More Problem Child 2 quotes
More Chitty Chitty Bang Bang quotes
Red 2 picture

Marvin: If there's one thing I know, it's women and covert operations.
Frank: Marvin, that's two things.
Han Cho Bai: No, grasshopper. It is not.

More Red 2 quotes
Silver Linings Playbook picture

Tiffany: I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?

More Silver Linings Playbook quotes
More Shirley Valentine quotes
Seven Psychopaths picture

Hans: As Gandhi said...'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'. I believe that whole heartedly.
Bill: No it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy going to take out the eye of the last guy left whose still got one eye left? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Ghandi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come out and say it.

More Seven Psychopaths quotes
Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult picture

Frank Drebin: Hey, Rocco. Who's the old bag? She take one in the face?
Rocco: She's my mother.
Frank Drebin: Oh. Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. You must be very proud of him.
Mrs. Dillon: I am.

More Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult quotes
The Heat picture

Mullins: That cat took one look at your shitty shitty life, and said nooooo fucking thanks.

More The Heat quotes
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me picture

Ivana Humpalot: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin Powers: Oh ho ho! I can guess, baby.
Ivana Humpalot: We play chess.
Austin Powers: I guessed wrong.

More Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me quotes
The Breakfast Club picture

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...
Andrew Clark:...and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds:...and a basket case...
Claire Standish:...a princess...
John Bender:...and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

More The Breakfast Club quotes
Diary of a Mad Black Woman picture

Helen: Orlando, what's going.
Orlando: I know you don't believe in fairy tales. But, if you did, I'd want to be your knight in shining armor. You've been through so much. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Now I may not be able to give you all that your used to. But I do know I can love you past your pain. I don't want you to worry about anything. You just wake up in the morning, that's all you have to do and I'll take it from there. There's one condition. You have to be my wife.

More Diary of a Mad Black Woman quotes
The Lego Movie picture

Vitruvius: The Special has arisen.
Gandalf: Have the young man step forward.
Vitruvius: As you wish, Dubbledore.
Gandalf: I'm Gandalf!
Dumbledore: It's pronounced Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: Dubbledore?
Dumbledore: No, Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: I thought you said Dubbledore.
Gandalf: Vetruvius!
Vitruvius: Ah, we gotta write all that down 'cause I'm not gonna remember any of it, but here we go. The Special will now give an eloquent speech.

More The Lego Movie quotes
The Cat in the Hat picture

Cat in the Hat: Don't worry, I have three plans. Plan A: Mess up a perfectly clean house. Done that! Plan B: Cut your losses and ditch the kids. That could work.
Sally: What about that one?
Cat in the Hat: Plan C: Trick Mom's boyfriend into handing over dog and lock. I don't know. I still like Plan B.

More The Cat in the Hat quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.