Best comedy movie quotes of 1999

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Movie Quote Quiz
10 Things I Hate About You picture

Patrick: Don't ever let any one make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.

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Office Space picture

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.

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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me picture

Ivana Humpalot: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin Powers: Oh ho ho! I can guess, baby.
Ivana Humpalot: We play chess.
Austin Powers: I guessed wrong.

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American Pie picture

Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.

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The Mummy picture

Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.
Beni: They do?

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Dogma picture

Bethany: You're saying that having beliefs is a bad thing?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.

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Galaxy Quest picture

Guy Fleegman: I'm not even supposed to be here! I'm just "Crewman Number Six"! I'm expendable! I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is! I've gotta get outta here!

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Jakob the Liar picture

Jakob Heym: Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" And the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday." Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" And she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."

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South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut picture

Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
[Gasp from the class.]
Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the "F" word?
Cartman: [confused.] Jew?
Kyle: No, not Jew! He's talking about "fuck"! You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the fuck not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: [Muffled.] Fuck.
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
[Gasp from the class.]
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[Cartman pulls out a bullhorn.]
Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS? MR. Garrison.
Stan: Holy shit, dude.

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Mystery, Alaska picture

Donnie Shulzhoffer: Hey, you know where a guy can get a rub and a tug around here?

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Life picture

Claude Banks: Don't touch this car.
Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I piss on the motherfucker. I ain't gonna touch it, I piss on it.
Claude Banks: Why you got to say nasty shit, Ray?
Rayford Gibson: 'Cause I'm a nasty motherfucker.

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Lake Placid picture

Hector Cyr: She tell you that we had sex together? So vigorous!
Kelly Scott: I never had sex with you!
Hector Cyr: I'm horrible in bed. They never remember.

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Wild Wild West picture

Capt. James West: Never drum on a white lady's boobies at a big redneck dance. Got it.

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The Thomas Crown Affair picture

Catherine Banning: Damn, I hate being a foregone conclusion.

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Toy Story 2 picture

Hamm: You heard of Kung Fu? Well, get ready for pork chops!

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Annie picture

Miss Hannigan: I don't know whatever I'd do without you.
Annie: Scrub the floors yourself?

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Idle Hands picture

Pnub: Don't you watch the news?
Anton: I hate that fucking show.

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Analyze This picture

Paul Vitti: You know me?
Ben Sobel: Yes.
Paul Vitti: No, you don't.
Ben Sobel: Okay.
Paul Vitti: You see my picture in the paper?
Ben Sobel: Yes.
Paul Vitti: No, you didn't.
Ben Sobel: I don't even get the paper.

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Notting Hill picture

Anna Scott: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

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Being John Malkovich picture

Craig Schwartz: You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.

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