Anna Scott: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Capt. James West: Never drum on a white lady's boobies at a big redneck dance. Got it.
Leo Morton: Ed, can you take that Delta?
Ed Clabes: No, I can't take the Delta, my airspace is finite.
Barry Plotkin: Uh-oh, Ed's going down the drain.
Ed Clabes: I am not going down the drain.
Barry Plotkin: Oh yes you are. It happens every time you use the term "finite."
Richard Twat: As we always say at the Guest House Paradiso: Have fun, don't go in the water if you know what's good for you and try not to get shit on the sheets.
Stan: Love is just lust in disguise, and lust fades, so you damn well better be with someone who can stand you.
Sue Ryan: It's easy to be a bitch now that Brad Seldon's available.
Nicole: It's easy to be a bitch either way.
Pnub: Don't you watch the news?
Anton: I hate that fucking show.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh look at you, my pretty little girl, sitting there with your face all painted up in your little halter top, you're nothing but a little slut.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Don't call me that! I'm a Puerto Rican lady senor.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: You're nothing but a little slut, Sybill Ann Dorsett, we know you're a little slut.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'M no slut.
Betsy Jobs: You kicked Checkers, you're prejudiced and you have a potty mouth.
Sarah Lewis: I don't deserve heaven.
Ben Holmes: Oh Sarah, you deserve so much more than you think you do.
Dane: Don't go.
Courtney: Don't come.
Coleye: This is similar to the Martian incident of 1963.
Armitan: Careful, stupid. Not only is that incident classified, it never happened.
Gilbert: Every theatrical performance is a contrivance by its very nature.
Sullivan: Yes, but this piece consists entirely of an artificial and implausible situation.
Gilbert: If you wish to write a Grand Opera about a prostitute, dying of consumption in a garret, I suggest you contact Mr Ibsen in Oslo. I am sure he will be able to furnish you with something suitably dull.
Rusty Zimmerman: You're ashamed of us, but we're not ashamed of you. As long as you go down on your Banana Republican knees and suck dick, you're my sisters, and I love you. And fuck off.
Emmet Ray: I didn't ask your opinion. I'm just telling ya how it's gonna go.
Henry: The cops are around, we gotta lay low for a while... wow, I never thought I'd say that.
Val Resnick: The problem with kicking a Chow's ass is an hour later you wanna do it again.
Sly: They've got Whit.
Dan: Who's got Whit? Wait, you're Whit.
Maxine: Here's the thing: If you ever get me, you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me.
Jordan Armstrong: You know, maybe if I had the luxury of getting my ass whooped, I could be calm right now. But I have been drinking tequila shots, my hormones are raging out of control, I'm emotional, I'm horny, and I don't wanna hear about no goddamn peas! Fuck you! Good night.