Jordan Armstrong: You know, maybe if I had the luxury of getting my ass whooped, I could be calm right now. But I have been drinking tequila shots, my hormones are raging out of control, I'm emotional, I'm horny, and I don't wanna hear about no goddamn peas! Fuck you! Good night.
Lance Sullivan: In case you didn't know, marriage is the key to promiscuity.
Quentin: In what world?
Shelby: Ah, Harper Stewart. Richard Wrong. Langston Snooze.
Harper Stewart: Hi, Shelby.
Shelby: I heard about your book, and I don't think it's cute Harper. You know, the next time you want to characterize me in one of your little projects, do me a favor.
Harper Stewart: What would that be, Shelby?