Best comedy movie quotes of 1995

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Movie Quote Quiz
Dracula: Dead and Loving It picture

[Renfield is being seduced by Dracula's brides.]
Renfield: This is wrong. Do you hear me? Wrong. This is...WRONG ME! WRONG ME! WRONG MY BRAINS OUT!

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Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls picture

Ace: Tell them what I'm saying. [To Wachootoo tribe] I come in peace.
Ouda: White devil say, "I will harm you."
Ace: I couldn't help but notice that Eqinsu Ocha part. Did you just refer to me as White Devil?
Ouda: This how they know you.
Ace: Leave that part out from now on. [To tribe] I represent the princess.
Ouda: I am a princess.
Ace: War is hell. The last thing we want is a fight.
Ouda: I want to fight. So go to Hell.

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Friday picture

Smokey: I got mind control over Debo. When he here, I be quiet, but when he leave, I be talkin' again.

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Now and Then picture

Teeny: Chrissy, truth or dare?
Chrissy: Truth.
Teeny: Have you ever been french kissed?
Chrissy: Are you kidding? I don't want to get pregnant!
Roberta: You can't get pregnant from french-kissing!
Chrissy: I know that, beetle-brain, but it's common knowledge that if you tongue-kiss a boy, he automatically thinks you'll do the deed with him. They can't help it. They're driven. It's the male curse.

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Jumanji picture

Sarah Whittle: A little rain never hurt anybody.
Alan Parrish: Yeah, but a lot can kill ya.

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Tommy Boy picture

Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?
Richard: No, your face does.

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Toy Story picture

Buzz: I just want you to know that although you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Woody: Oh, well, that's good.
Buzz: But we're not on my planet, are we?
Woody: No.

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Tank Girl picture

Tank Girl: You gotta think of it like...the first time you got laid. You just gotta go 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'.

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Major Payne picture

Cadet Stone: If I'm the new squad leader, then my first order is to SCREW YOU, SIR!
Major Payne: What'd you say to me turd?
Cadet Stone: Why don't you go back to hell where you came from?
Major Payne: Boy, I am five seconds from being on you like white on rice with a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I'll put my foot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst.
Cadet Stone: Try it.

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Billy Madison picture

High School Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said, is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listen to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Billy Madison: Ok, a simple "wrong" would have done just fine.

Bishop73
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Bad Boys picture

Mike Lowrey: Marcus, I just have one question for ya bro. How the hell you gonna leave my ass at a gun fight to go get the car.

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Casper picture

Fatso: I feel like Oprah on hiatus.
Stretch: You look like Oprah on hiatus.

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Clueless picture

Josh: You want to practice parking?
Cher: What's the point? Everywhere you go has valet.

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Father of the Bride Part II picture

Matty Banks: I'm, 4-foot 6, I don't shave, I don't have a job, and I'm gonna be an uncle. Is there something weird about that?
George Banks: Finally, someone who thinks like I do.
Nina Banks: Oh, yeah, a 12 year old.

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French Kiss picture

Luc: And I am thinking, you should not be flying anywhere.
Kate: I shouldn't?
Luc: No, in fact, I am sure of it. I am thinking, I want you.
Kate: You want me?
Luc: That's all. I want you.

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Get Shorty picture

Bo Catlett: You broke into my house, and I have a witness to it.
Chili Palmer: What?
Bo Catlett: Only this time it ain't no John Wayne and Dean Martin shooting bad guys in "El Dorado."
Chili Palmer: That was "Rio Bravo." Robert Mitchum played the drunk in "El Dorado." Dean Martin played the drunk in "Rio Bravo." Basically, it was the same part. Now John Wayne, he did the same in both. He played John Wayne.
Bo Catlett: Man, I can't wait for you to be dead.

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Home for the Holidays picture

Leo: Par, par, bogey, bogey, par, par.

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Mallrats picture

Brodie: Hey, look at that ring. What is that?
Jared Svenning: That is, um, my Junior College class ring. Cum Laude, '69.
Brodie: I also hope to cum loud one day, preferably in a 69.

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Matt: Can't you just relax and enjoy the moment?
Gwyn: No, I'm a middle child. I always think the really good moments are happening to someone else.

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Rumble in the Bronx picture

Ah Keung: You don't need diamonds in the bathroom.

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