Ace: Tell them what I'm saying. [To Wachootoo tribe] I come in peace.
Ouda: White devil say, "I will harm you."
Ace: I couldn't help but notice that Eqinsu Ocha part. Did you just refer to me as White Devil?
Ouda: This how they know you.
Ace: Leave that part out from now on. [To tribe] I represent the princess.
Ouda: I am a princess.
Ace: War is hell. The last thing we want is a fight.
Ouda: I want to fight. So go to Hell.
[Renfield is being seduced by Dracula's brides.]
Renfield: This is wrong. Do you hear me? Wrong. This is...WRONG ME! WRONG ME! WRONG MY BRAINS OUT!
Smokey: I got mind control over Debo. When say shut up, I be quiet, but when he leave, I be talkin' again.
[Alan is explaining to Sarah why Van Pelt is chasing him.]
Sarah: Well, have you ever thought about sitting down and talking about your differences?
Alan: What are you, crazy? The man has a gun.
Sarah: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan. Ever. Because everyone in this town has been calling me crazy ever since I told the cops you were sucked into a board game.
Cadet Stone: If I'm the new squad leader, then my first order is to SCREW YOU, SIR!
Major Payne: What'd you say to me turd?
Cadet Stone: Why don't you go back to hell where you came from?
Major Payne: Boy, I am five seconds from being on you like white on rice with a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I'll put my foot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst.
Cadet Stone: Try it.
Teeny: Chrissy, truth or dare?
Chrissy: Truth.
Teeny: Have you ever been french kissed?
Chrissy: Are you kidding? I don't want to get pregnant!
Roberta: You can't get pregnant from french-kissing!
Chrissy: I know that, beetle-brain, but it's common knowledge that if you tongue-kiss a boy, he automatically thinks you'll do the deed with him. They can't help it. They're driven. It's the male curse.
Chet Bronski: Well, we're all part of the same tribe.
Jack Sturgess: Right, the Minotauk.
Chet Bronski: No, I'm referring to the emotionally-constipated American male over 40.
Pat Finley: Who wants to tell us the lesson we learned here?
Roy: Don't put Twinkies on your pizza.
Max: Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy: 'Cause, I don't want you to end up in the electric chair.
Tank Girl: You gotta think of it like...the first time you got laid. You just gotta go 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'.
Kate: Spasm! Spasm! Oh, God, here it comes... lactose intolerance.
Warren Beaty: Who glued these quarters to the floor?
A.J.: I did.
Warren: Why the hell for, man?
A.J.: I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.
Mel: Do you know what time it is?
Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy.
Diane Barrows: It was there, I know it, that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over - the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.
He Zhiwu: We rub shoulders with many people everyday. Some may become close friends, or confidants. That's why I'm always optimistic. Sometimes it hurts. Not to worry - I try to stay happy. That night, I saw that woman again. I knew we'd never be friends or confidants. We'd let too many chances pass us by. Nothing happened, there was no chemistry. Maybe it was the weather, but that night I found her very alluring.
Ashley: Peter Callahan is engaged to me. I object to this wedding.
Priest: Get in line.
Ashley's husband: And I object to your objection.
Mary Callaghan: Who's that?
Peter: Ashley's husband.
Midge Callaghan: You proposed to a married woman?
Peter: Yes. And I'm in a coma when my brother makes a play for my - sort of my fiancée.
Marko: We're all crazy, Natalija. We just haven't been diagnosed yet.