Best comedy movie quotes of 1995

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Movie Quote Quiz
Angus picture

Grandpa: As for what anybody else thinks, always remember these words and live by them: screw 'em.

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Empire Records picture

Warren Beaty: Who glued these quarters to the floor?
A.J.: I did.
Warren: Why the hell for, man?
A.J.: I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.

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Bad Boys picture

Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point.

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Waiting to Exhale picture

Bernadine Harris: The worst thing is that he made me move out here where my children are in school with only one other black kid so they won't be improperly influenced. Well, guess what John, YOU'RE the motherfuckin' improper influence! Get your shit! Get your shit! And, get out.

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Welcome to the Dollhouse picture

Ralphie: You think you're hot shit, but you're really just cold diarrhea.

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Wallace & Gromit: A Close Shave picture

Wendolene Ramsbottom: He's malfunctioning.
Wallace: Mal what?
Wendolene Ramsbottom: Malfunctioning. Preston is a cyberdog.
Wallace: Cyber what?
Wendolene Ramsbottom: A robot. Daddy created him for good, but he's turned out evil.

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Grumpier Old Men picture

Maria: Ox.
Max: Nag.

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Get Shorty picture

Chili Palmer: Harry, look at me. You're trying to tell me you fucked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do.

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The Brady Bunch Movie picture

Bobby Brady: Excuse me Mr Dittmeyer, but the height of your hedge is blocking your view of oncoming traffic and as a junior safety inspector I felt it was my duty to point out this hazard to you.
Larry Dittmeyer: Well you see, Billy...
Bobby Brady: Bobby.
Larry Dittmeyer: Like it matters. I grew my hedge tall for a reason... So I wouldn't have to see your family. Thank you for your concern.

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It Takes Two picture

Diane Barrows: It was there, I know it, that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over - the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.

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Fallen Angels picture

He Zhiwu: We rub shoulders with many people everyday. Some may become close friends, or confidants. That's why I'm always optimistic. Sometimes it hurts. Not to worry - I try to stay happy. That night, I saw that woman again. I knew we'd never be friends or confidants. We'd let too many chances pass us by. Nothing happened, there was no chemistry. Maybe it was the weather, but that night I found her very alluring.

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Billy Madison picture

High School Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said, is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Billy Madison: OK, a simple "wrong" would have done just fine.


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Operation Dumbo Drop picture

David Poole: Gilman, may I remind you that I have friends who have absolutely no regard for the sanctity of human life? I pick up the phone, I have your head in a bag on my desk tomorrow morning.

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Home for the Holidays picture

Leo: Par, par, bogey, bogey, par, par.

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Living in Oblivion picture

Chad: Roll that motherfucking camera, Wolfie.
Wolf: Kiss my ass.
Chad: Yeah.

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Tom and Huck picture

Tom Sawyer: Muff's innocent Huck, we gotta help him.
Huck Finn: We ain't gotta do nothing.
Tom Sawyer: You'd let him hang for something he didn't do.
Huck Finn: It ain't no skin off my back.

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Bye Bye, Love picture

Lucille: I'm not shooting for a "successful" relationship at this point, I'm just looking for something that will prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus. I'm keeping my expectations very very low.

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A Kid in King Arthur's Court picture

Calvin Fuller: Look, Your Majesty, I don't want to insult you or anything, but are you nuts? This isn't the castle. This is the real, in-your-face, carjacking, drive-by-shooting, kill-you-for-your-Reeboks street life.

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Mighty Aphrodite picture

Lenny Weinrib: You didn't see Schindler's List?
Kevin: No, no... That was the one with the Jews and the, um... Who were the bad guys?
Lenny Weinrib: The Nazis. The blond guys were the Nazis.
Kevin: They were tough motherfuckers.

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The Jerky Boys picture

Band Manager: The fuckin' monkeys?

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