Ted the Bellhop: Problem? I haven't got a problem. I've got fucking problems. Plural.
Ted the Bellhop: I'm in a situation I can't begin to explain.
Angela: How can I stop talking about something that's so huge?
Chester: Like my old grand daddy used to say, "The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect."
Angela: Everybody starts out as strangers, Ted. It's where we end up that counts.
Ted the Bellhop: I'm coming up and if there isn't a dead body by the time I get there, I'll make one myself. You.
Sarah: There's a dead body in my bed and it smells like shit and it looks even worse. And if you don't get your ass up here now, my Daddy's gonna lay you down next to her. I swear to fucking God.
Ted the Bellhop: Police! It's an emergency! Police get someone over here right fucking now. There is a dead fuckin' whore.