Nine Months (1995)

Dr. Kosevich: I've got it! Nurse, call the Anesthesiologist, this woman needs an enema.
Samuel, Rebecca, Nurse: An enema?
Dr. Kosevich: No, uh, she needs a pedicure.
Nurse: This ain't no goddam beauty parlor.
Dr. Kosevich: Epitath.
Samuel Faulkner: She's not dead, you moron.
Dr. Kosevich: Epidermus... Uh.
Rebecca Taylor: Epidural, asshole.

Gail Dwyer: Who is that, honey?
Marty: It's, uh, my mother.
Gail Dwyer: I thought she was dead.
Marty: Yeah, I know, it's really weird.

Dr. Kosevich: You have a girl. Unless I cut the wrong cord.

Dr. Kosevich: If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Samuel Faulkner: Are you sure?
Rebecca Taylor: I'm ten days late.
Samuel Faulkner: And there's no way you could have had it and just not noticed?

Sean: Hey why do you guys really, really come here? Is it just to ruin my weekends and embarrass me in front of my friends at my home?
Gail: Your home? This isn't your home. It was our parents home! But I don't see you making any contributions. You've got no wife, no kids. You insult the only family you have. You keep this up and you'll die alone, like a dog, like a bum, like Van Gogh.

Arnie: Ah, ya cheap shit.
Marty: What did you say?
Arnie: Oh gee, I didn't say nothing mister, you must be hearing things. Bye bye, Arnie loves you. Ya penis-head.
Marty: Now I heard that.
Arnie: Heard what?
Marty: I heard what you said.
Arnie: I didn't say nothing... Ya fat ass pussy.

Samuel Faulkner: Think, you Commie bastard.
Dr. Kosevich: Shut up, you limey prick.

Rebecca Taylor: Sam! My water broke.
Samuel Faulkner: Well, we'll get you another one.

Dr. Kosevich: Okay, okay, what is wrong? OH fuck ME! It is not working.

Gail Dwyer: I hate you! You did this to me you miserable piece of dick-brained, horseshit slime-sucking son of a whore bitch.
Marty: That's perfect! I got it all on film, the kids will love it.

Samuel Faulkner: Can't you give her something for the pain?
Dr. Kosevich: You don't want natural child birth?
Samuel Faulkner: No.
Dr. Kosevich: Okay, uh... You want Anastasia? Drugs, yes? Okay, valium.
Samuel Faulkner: Valium is no good for her.
Dr. Kosevich: No, for me.
Samuel Faulkner: No.