Arnie Cunningham: Oh man, there is nothing finer than being behind the wheel of your own car! Except maybe for pussy.
Arnie Cunningham: Okay... show me.
Buddy Repperton: Come on, prick! We're not finished yet.
Rudolph Junkins: I'm selling' this shithole and buyin' a condo.
Arnie Cunningham: Whoa, whoa. You better watch what you say about my car. She's real sensitive.
George LeBay: Her name's Christine.
Arnie Cunningham: I like that.
Dennis Guilder: Come on Arnie, we gotta get goin', huh?
George LeBay: My asshole brother bought her back in September '57. That's when you got your new model year, in September. Brand-new, she was. She had the smell of a brand-new car. That's just about the finest smell in the world, 'cept maybe for pussy.
Rudolph Junkins: I understand, uh, one of the perpetrators, uh, defecated on the dashboard. Now, I woulda thought you'd be madder than hell at that. And I thought you woulda reported that.
Arnie Cunningham: Shit wipes off.
Arnie Cunningham: Has it ever occurred to you that part of being a parent is tryin' to kill your kids?
Buddy Repperton: Some shithead's following me.
Will Darnell: Good hands... Bad taste in cars.