Best comedy movie quotes of 1995

Donald Patterson: Did I say that? I didn't say that! All I said was... bad things tend to happen around you two. Some money got lost and I think you two can help me find it.
Charlie: How so?
Donald Patterson: You look for it.

Reginald Anson: Pleasant enough sort of place, isn't it?
George Garrad: I suppose so, considering it's Wales.

Suzanne Stone Maretto: You're not anybody in America unless you're on TV. On TV is where we learn about who we really are. Because what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if nobody's watching? And if people are watching, it makes you a better person.

Angela: Everybody starts out as strangers, Ted. It's where we end up that counts.

Leo: Par, par, bogey, bogey, par, par.

Gwen: Why are you glowing?
Brodie: I'm not glowing.

Art Dodge: For me there is only Rimbaud.
Liz Kerner: Rimbaud? Why?
Betty Kerner: Well, it's obvious. He's the original. I mean, Seagal and Van Damme are just cheap imitations.

Tom Sawyer: Huck! Hey, Huck! Muff Potter's my friend. And when a friend's in trouble, you can't run away.

Chad: What did you call me?
Nick: You heard me. I called you a "Hostess Twinkie motherfucker," motherfucker.

Lucy: The truth was that I fell in love with you.
Ox Callahan: You fell in love with me?
Lucy: No, N-o, yes. All of you. I went from being all alone to being a fiancee, a daughter a granddaughter, a sister and a friend.

Lucille: I'm not shooting for a "successful" relationship at this point, I'm just looking for something that will prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus. I'm keeping my expectations very very low.

Maya Fuller: I get your room if you get killed.

Newt Shaw: I'm your man.

Band Manager: The fuckin' monkeys?

Bruno Parker: I never saw anything funny that didn't cause pain.

Paul Benjamin: If you're gonna die, what's more important, and good book or a good smoke? So he smoked his book.

Stuart Smalley: Because what they say is true - it's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

Junior Healy: I'm getting out.
Ben Healy: You can't just get out of a moving vehicle.
Junior Healy: Well anything's better than listening to this lecture.

Dr. Frankenollie: Dr. Frankenollie at your service. You're here for the job, hmm?
Mickey Mouse: Yeah. I mean, no! No.
Dr. Frankenollie: Oh, don't be shy. It's not just a job. It's an adventure.
Mickey Mouse: I hate adventures.
Dr. Frankenollie: Perfect! You're hired.

Luke: It's 1909 and you're alone with a young artist named Adolph. Do you kill him?