Jay: Come son of Jor-El. Kneel before Zod!
Stan Lee: You know, it reminds me of an issue of Spider-man I did. When Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy went lingerie shopping. Of course, the Green Goblin showed up, and he pumpkin-bombed the hell out of the place. But aside from that, it's pretty much the same thing.
T.S. Quint: Why do palm reading topless?
Brodie: It makes the news easier to take. She could tell me I was going to die in ten minutes, just as long as she told me topless.
T.S. Quint: Your maleness amazes me sometimes.
Stan Lee: You know, I think you ought to get him some help. He seems to be really hung up on super heroes' sex organs.
Willam Black: When Lord? When the hell do I get to see the goddamn sailboat?
Bob Summers: Our first suitor goes to Marymount College where he majors in economics. Say hi to Doug Paging.
Jay: DO IT doug.
Brodie: You're going to listen to me? To something that I said? Hell, most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass... or sticking my hand in it.
Shannon Hamilton: That's it. You're dead, mallrat! I'm gonna fuck you up beyond repair.
Brodie: Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.
Gil Hicks: What... like the back of a Volkswagen?
Brodie: You used to like tits too.
T.S. Quint: Hey, I love tits as much as the next guy, but why should I pay some old hag good money for some supernatural chicanery coupled with a pair of sagging wrinkled weathered boobs?
Jared Svenning: Once I realised the both of you were in the mall together, I decided to set up this little ambush to remove you and your sidekick here from the premises, permanently.
Brodie: Hey, why am I his side-kick? How do you know he's not my side-kick?
Brodie: I love the smell of commerce in the morning.
Brodie: That kid is back... on the escalator again.
Brodie: How much longer are we gonna be in this chick store? I'm starting to get a mean hard-on.
Gwen: Tell me about the elevator.
Brodie: It goes up-and-down. Ba-dump-tsss.
Tricia Jones: I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park. When are men going to learn that women want romance, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Brodie: Be fair. everyone wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Brodie: You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?