Stan Lee: You know, it reminds me of an issue of Spider-man I did. When Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy went lingerie shopping. Of course, the Green Goblin showed up, and he pumpkin-bombed the hell out of the place. But aside from that, it's pretty much the same thing.
Ivannah: It's the third nipple that does it.
T.S. Quint: Oh, you have a third nipple? I didn't notice.
Brodie: What are you talking about? It's as clear as day! Look at it for god's sake.
Ivannah: You can stare at it. I don't mind.
Brodie: You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda Gross' mother after she called him "low class."
T.S. Quint: That wasn't me. It was you.
Brodie: Oh, yeah.
T.S. Quint: And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother.
Brodie: No wonder the bitch went down so fast.
Brodie: Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.
T.S. Quint: Why do palm reading topless?
Brodie: It makes the news easier to take. She could tell me I was going to die in ten minutes, just as long as she told me topless.
T.S. Quint: Your maleness amazes me sometimes.
Stan Lee: You know, I think you ought to get him some help. He seems to be really hung up on super heroes' sex organs.
Brodie: You're going to listen to me? To something that I said? Hell, most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass... or sticking my hand in it.
Shannon Hamilton: That's it. You're dead, mallrat! I'm gonna fuck you up beyond repair.
Brodie: Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.
Gil Hicks: What... like the back of a Volkswagen?
Brodie: You used to like tits too.
T.S. Quint: Hey, I love tits as much as the next guy, but why should I pay some old hag good money for some supernatural chicanery coupled with a pair of sagging wrinkled weathered boobs?
Jared Svenning: Once I realised the both of you were in the mall together, I decided to set up this little ambush to remove you and your sidekick here from the premises, permanently.
Brodie: Hey, why am I his side-kick? How do you know he's not my side-kick?