Mallrats (1995)

Jay: Come son of Jor-El. Kneel before Zod!

Ivannah: All right, gentlemen. Free your mind.
Brodie: I'd like to free something.
Ivannah: Fuckus.
Brodie: Just what I was thinking.
T.S. Quint: She said focus.
Brodie: Whatever.

Stan Lee: You know, it reminds me of an issue of Spider-man I did. When Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy went lingerie shopping. Of course, the Green Goblin showed up, and he pumpkin-bombed the hell out of the place. But aside from that, it's pretty much the same thing.

Brodie: The Thing! Is his dork made out of orange rock like the rest of his body?
Stan Lee: I don't know. It's a superhero secret.

Brodie: You've probably had a slew of women since her, am I right?
Stan Lee: Oh, lots of women. Jagger and me, we had a running contest to see who had the most. In fact, last time I checked I was way ahead.

Brandi: Suitor #2.
Gil Hicks: Hey, what about me?
Brodie: Aw Gil, just shut the fuck up.

Gwen: Why are you glowing?
Brodie: I'm not glowing.

Ivannah: It's the third nipple that does it.
T.S. Quint: Oh, you have a third nipple? I didn't notice.
Brodie: What are you talking about? It's as clear as day! Look at it for god's sake.
Ivannah: You can stare at it. I don't mind.

T.S. Quint: How easily do you quit? Say you wind up with one of us?
Brodie: Hopefully not Rush Limbaugh over here.
Gil Hicks: Well, now, I'm not like Rush Limbaugh.
Brodie: Well, why not? Because he's fat? Now you have something against fat people, too?

Brodie: Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for Sega.

Brodie: You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda Gross' mother after she called him "low class."
T.S. Quint: That wasn't me. It was you.
Brodie: Oh, yeah.
T.S. Quint: And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother.
Brodie: No wonder the bitch went down so fast.

Jay: Bye baby kitties. Damn Silent Bob, show some heart.

Brodie: Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.

T.S. Quint: Why do palm reading topless?
Brodie: It makes the news easier to take. She could tell me I was going to die in ten minutes, just as long as she told me topless.
T.S. Quint: Your maleness amazes me sometimes.

Stan Lee: You know, I think you ought to get him some help. He seems to be really hung up on super heroes' sex organs.

Willam Black: When Lord? When the hell do I get to see the goddamn sailboat?

Bob Summers: Our first suitor goes to Marymount College where he majors in economics. Say hi to Doug Paging.
Jay: DO IT doug.

Brodie: You're going to listen to me? To something that I said? Hell, most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass... or sticking my hand in it.

Shannon Hamilton: That's it. You're dead, mallrat! I'm gonna fuck you up beyond repair.
Brodie: Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.
Gil Hicks: What... like the back of a Volkswagen?

Brodie: You used to like tits too.
T.S. Quint: Hey, I love tits as much as the next guy, but why should I pay some old hag good money for some supernatural chicanery coupled with a pair of sagging wrinkled weathered boobs?