Jared Svenning: Once I realised the both of you were in the mall together, I decided to set up this little ambush to remove you and your sidekick here from the premises, permanently.
Brodie: Hey, why am I his side-kick? How do you know he's not my side-kick?
Brodie: I love the smell of commerce in the morning.
Brodie: That kid is back... on the escalator again.
Brodie: How much longer are we gonna be in this chick store? I'm starting to get a mean hard-on.
Gwen: Tell me about the elevator.
Brodie: It goes up-and-down. Ba-dump-tsss.
Tricia Jones: I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park. When are men going to learn that women want romance, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Brodie: Be fair. everyone wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Brodie: You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?
T.S. Quint: How much did you smoke?
Jay: All it took was a phat, chronic blunt. These guys were lightweights.
T.S. Quint: How much do I owe you?
Jay: My treat. As long as you promise that the next time you pop your old lady, you make her call you "Jay." Snootchie Bootchies.
T.S. Quint: Let's hope there is a next time.
T.S. Quint: You should see yourself right now - a grown man with his hand down his pants.
Brodie: Yeah, I probably look like my old man.
T.S. Quint: Maybe he's calmed down, we'll talk about it reasonably.
Brodie: Reasonably shmeasonably, you should go over there and give him shit.
Shannon Hamilton: You wanna say something?
Brodie: Yeah. About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand 'em all.
Shannon Hamilton: You're sure you saw her get on?
T.S. Quint: Maybe she was getting off.
Brodie: Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? They're a little melty but damn are they exquisite.