Best comedy movie quotes of all time

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
Wreck-It Ralph picture

Vanellope von Schweetz: As your merciful princess I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be...executed.
Crowd of girls: What?!
Sergeant Calhoun: Well, this place just got interesting.

More Wreck-It Ralph quotes
This is Spinal Tap picture

Nigel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Martin: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel: Exactly.
Martin: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Martin: I don't know.
Nigel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Martin: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel: Elevn. Exactly. One louder.
Martin: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
[Pause.]
Nigel: These go to eleven.

More This is Spinal Tap quotes
A Dog's Purpose picture

Bailey: So, in all my lives as a dog, here's what I've learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don't get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.

More A Dog's Purpose quotes
10 Things I Hate About You picture

Patrick: Don't ever let any one make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.

More 10 Things I Hate About You quotes
Dumb and Dumber picture

Lloyd: What do you mean you don't bet? Wussy! Wussy!
Harry: I never have and I never will.
Lloyd: Yeah, right. I bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.
Harry: No way.
Lloyd: I give you three to one odds.
Harry: No.
Lloyd: Five to one?
Harry: No.
Lloyd Ten to one?
Harry: You're on.
[Lloyd and Harry both shake hands and smile.]
Lloyd: I'm gonna get you.
Harry: Nuh-uh.
Lloyd: I don't know how, but I'm gonna get you.
Harry: Nuh-uh.

More Dumb and Dumber quotes
McLintock! picture

Running Buffalo: Swell party, where's the whisky?

More McLintock! quotes
More The Princess Bride quotes
Fred: The Movie picture

Fred's Dad: I should have ejaculated in your mother's anus instead the night you were conceived.

More Fred: The Movie quotes
Downsizing picture

Ngoc Lan Tran: What kind of fuck you give me? What kind? American people, eight kind of fuck. Love fuck, hate fuck, sex-only fuck, break-up fuck, make-up fuck, drunk fuck, buddy fuck, pity fuck.

More Downsizing quotes
How to Train Your Dragon picture

Stoick: When we crack this mountain, all hell is going to break loose.
Gobber: In my undies. Good thing I brought extras.

More How to Train Your Dragon quotes

Elf (2003)

Elf picture

Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

More Elf quotes
Paul picture

Agent Zoil: Motherfucking, titty-sucking two-balled bitch!

More Paul quotes
Clue picture

Wadsworth: You see. It's just like the Mounties. We always get our man.
Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?!

More Clue quotes
In Bruges picture

Ken: You coming up?
Ray: What's up there?
Ken: Well, the view.
Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here.
Ken: Ray, you're about the worst tourist in the whole world!
Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I'd grown up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me. But I didn't, so it doesn't!

More In Bruges quotes
Liar Liar picture

Driver: What's your problem, schmuck?
Fletcher: I'm an inconsiderate prick!

More Liar Liar quotes
The Wedding Date picture

Nick Mercer: I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.

More The Wedding Date quotes
Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment picture

Lt. Mauser: At this point in time, yours truly was the object of a malicious prank. Now, can anybody in here tell me how this happened? [holds up his hands to show his palms covered in hair.].
Officer Mahoney: I can, sir. And if you don't stop that, you could go blind.

More Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment quotes
Hunt for the Wilderpeople picture

Ricky Baker: It was a relaxing song... and a relaxing sausage.

More Hunt for the Wilderpeople quotes
Fighting with My Family picture

Julia Knight: Dick me dead, and bury me pregnant.

More Fighting with My Family quotes
He's Just Not That Into You picture

Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... It's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... Just... Moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

More He's Just Not That Into You quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.