The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. Four o'clock, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?
The Grinch: How dare you enter the Grinch's lair!? The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!
Grinch's Echo: Hello! Hello! Hello!
Grinch: How are you?
Grinch's Echo: How are you? How are you? How are you?
Grinch: I asked you first.
Grinch's Echo: I asked you first. I asked you first. I asked you first.
Grinch: Oh, that's real mature. Saying exactly what I say.
Grinch's Echo: Exactly what I say. Exactly what I say. Exactly what I say.
Grinch: I'm an idiot.
Grinch's Echo: You're an idiot.
Grinch: [Whispering] All right. Fine. I'm not talking to you anymore. In fact, I'm going to whisper. So that by the time the sound of my voice reverberates off the walls and gets back to me, I won't be able to hear it.
Grinch's Echo: You're an idiot.
The Grinch: Any calls?
Grinch's Answering Machine: You have no messages.
The Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
Grinch's outgoing message: IF YOU UTTER SO MUCH AS ONE SYLLABLE, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.
The Grinch: Hmm. Hmm. Oh well.
The Grinch: That's what it's all about right? That's what it's always been about! Gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! Do you know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me...in your garbage. Do you see what I'm saying here? IN YOUR GARBAGE! I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump! And the avarice...[points to mayor.] The avarice never ends!"I want golf clubs!" "I want diamonds!" "I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored, and send it away to make glue!" Look, I don't wanna make waves here, but this WHOLE Christmas season is STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! There is however, one teeny, tiny, Christmas tradition that I find quite meaningful [snatches mistletoe from ring case.] Mistletoe. [Turns around and shouts.] SO PUCKER UP AND KISS IT, WHOVILLE!
The Grinch: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm gonna throw up, and then I'm gonna die! Mommy tell it to stop!
Grinch: Fat boy ought to finishing up any time now. Talk about a recluse! He only comes out once a year, and HE never catches any flak for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes! [Notices Santa leaving.] OOOpsy! Forgot about the reindeer. If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead. Oh, MaaaaAAAAAX!
Lou Lou Who: Let's see, we've got a munkle for your uncle, a fant for your aunt and a fandpa for your Cousin Leon.
The Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast. They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast. But there's something I just cannot stand in least... Oh no. I'M SPEAKING IN RHYME!
The Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.