The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go my schedule simply wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no-one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?
Commodus: The general who became a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an emperor. Striking story! But now, the people want to know how the story ends. Only a famous death will do. And what could be more glorious than to challenge the Emperor himself in the great arena?
Maximus: You would fight me?
Commodus: Why not? Do you think I am afraid?
Maximus: I think you've been afraid all your life.
Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy: Well, mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner.
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Jesse: No "and then"!
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Babs: I don't want to be a pie! I don't like gravy.
Arnie: A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - forever.
Colonel William Tavington: Kill me before the war is over, will you? It appears that you are not the better man.
Benjamin Martin: You're right. My sons were better men.
Novalee Nation: What do you think? It took me a whole month to get back to my old size.
Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Oh, well, a little weight on a woman is no harm.
Patrick Bateman: I think, um, Evelyn that, uh, we've lost touch.
Evelyn Williams: Why? What's wrong?
Patrick Bateman: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale can not be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Donnie: I asked her that myself one time. She said I was the only man in town that knew how to fuck.
David: You're disgusting.
Arley: I want to wear the green dress.
Trevor McKenney: You look like a vampire in that.
Pat Summerall: That's the second time tonight a Washington player's been knocked out by his own teammate.
John Madden: You know, there's a rule in sports, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations."
Pat Summerall: There is?
John Madden: Yep.
Magneto: Are you a God-fearing man, Senator? It's such a strange phrase. I always thought of God as a teacher. As a bringer of light, wisdom and understanding. You see, I think what you really are afraid of is me. Me and my kind. The Brotherhood of Mutants.
Sebastian: That's it. I'm booking meself on a cruise.
Chuck Noland: I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over nothing.
Billy: So, what's it like, like?
Dad: What's what like?
Billy: London.
Dad: I don't know, son. I never made it past Durham.
Billy: Have you never been?
Dad: Why would I want to go to London?
Billy: It's the capital city.
Dad: Well, there are no mines in London.
Billy: Jesus Christ, is that all you think about?
Pete: I'll get tickets.
Natalie: I love tickets!
Violet: Cammie, I think I just fell in love with you.
Cammie: Oh Violet, I'm not a lesbian. I played in the minors but never went pro.
Violet: That's not, what I meant.
Forrester: Writers write things to give readers something to read.