Rusty Duritz: Isn't it cool we both have to go to the bathroom at the same time?
Russ Duritz: Yes. I'll cherish this moment for a lifetime.
Leonard Marliston: We have the same colour eyes.
Sheriff Brent Marken: No.
Leonard Marliston: Dad.
Sheriff Brent Marken: No... no... no.
Captain Victor Benezet: Go home. Put on a funny hat. Do whatever it is morons do.
Lily, Burnetts Grand Daughter: Magic Railroad?
Mr. C. Junior: Whatever.
Jack Carter: You should finish what you start.
Cyrus Paice: Yeah, shit I think you should fix your tie there.
Pinhead: Your flesh is killing your spirit.
Cecil: Action Fans! Help us.
Noah: There you are again with those books! What is that?
Paul Tannek: Studying?
Joel Campbell: It's never quite that easy. You go through the door, and they're never just sitting there waiting for you with a welcoming smile on their face. Best you can do is hope they fuck up and do what you can to be there when they do.
Dr. Polly Beilman: And then blame yourself for the killings?
Joel Campbell: Oh, no. I blame the asshole who did them.
Sara Pezzini: What is this thing? What is the Witchblade?
Kenneth Irons: A mystery, wrapped in a riddle, and cloaked in a conundrum.
Sara Pezzini: That doesn't help very much.
Turkish: We've lost gorgeous George
Brick top: Well where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys is he?
Gangster 55: And you, Mr. Freddie Mays, you had to go swimming in her eyes. Dancing in her hair. You had to slip into her mouth, slide over her tongue. Fall down her throat, deep down into her belly. Right into her blood. You had to fall asleep wrapped around her beautiful, beating heart.
Hunter: Buddy, if you're lookin' at me for answers - I'm flattered but, uh - you've come to the wrong place.
Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?
Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?
Claire Spencer: That girl must be brought up.
Lou Mozell: You know, that I actually met a girl by the name of Moo Goo Gai Pan? That was her last name. Her first name was Freida. Freida Moo Goo Gai Pan. She was half-Jewish, half-Chinese. A lot of people called her the Ori-Yenta.
Hector: You Sandro's kid too? How come I never heard about you?
Diana Guzman: I don't know. I'm his pride and joy.
Dot: The guys paid a dollars apiece to find out if you're single.
Lydia Callahan: Tell the guys I have five husbands, each one rich, mean and jealous. I'll be rotatin' them through on a weekly basis.
Dot: That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.
Lydia Callahan: Oh, just tell 'em I own a rifle.
Kate: Love is ecstacy and agony. Freedom and imprisonment. Belonging and loneliness. It is what keeps us together when life tears us apart. So, when you find that perfect man hold on tight and call me, so I can run over there and see what he looks like and laugh... Because he does not exist you sad perky little optimistic suckers.
Russ: As our Jewish friends say: "Enjoy."