Charlie: I'm asking for an example of one of these dumb fucks being a dumb fuck.
Chopper: Tell me this, right. Why would I shoot a bloke BANG? And then put him in the bloody car and wizz him off to the hospital at a hundred miles an hour? It defeats the purpose of having shot him in the first place.
Pinhead: It's all a puzzle, isn't it, Joseph? Like a game of chess, perhaps. The pieces move, apparently aimlessly, but always towards one single objective: to kill the king. But who is the king in this game, Joseph? That is the question you must ask yourself.
Imogen: I have something to tell you... I slept with Jim last night.
Al: Get the fuck out.
Sgt. Oh Kyeong-pil: Your shadow is over the line. Watch it.
Alice Bowman: You are the first, you are the only person I've met who knows what they're talking about! So I am begging you, I am totally begging you to help me out on this.
Terry Thorne: You asked me not to bullshit you?
Alice Bowman: Right.
Terry Thorne: I've gotta plane to catch.
Jim Grover: It's quints.
Professor Edward Alcott: You know, I have this kind of crazy philosophy that your grades should represent your grasp of the material and not your negotiating skills - which are amazing, by the way.
Russ Duritz: Stop biting.
Amy: Leave me alone. I'm advertising terror and bewilderment.
Sleep'N Eat: Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. Thusly, he became my son-in-law and my step-daughter became my mother because she was my father's wife. That's right. After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son who became my brother and my grandchild, because he was the son of my daughter. I ain't jiving! Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my mother's mother. Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo and behold, as the husband of the person's grandmother is a grandfather, I became my goddamn own grandfather.
Matthew: Enter the fuckin' dragon.
John Townsend: God will forgive me. The transformation is near.
Sheila: Well Mr. Phipps, you are in perilous danger of turning me back into a heterosexual.
Greg Focker: O dear God, thank you. You are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating God. And we thank You O sweet, sweet Lord of hosts for the smörgåsbord You have so aptly lain at our table this day, and each day... by day. Day by day... by day. O dear Lord, three things we pray: To love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more, to follow Thee more nearly day by day... by day. Amen.
Cecil: Death to mainstream cinema.
Maurey Pierce: I want to explain the rules before we do this.
Sam Callahan: Do what?
Maurey Pierce: Make sex. Why else would I be here?
Sam Callahan: We're gonna perform sex now?
Maurey Pierce: After coffee.
Dawn Cottrell: It's my body and I'll cut where I want.
Ray Castro: Why are hurricanes named after women? Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and your car.