Pat Summerall: That's the second time tonight a Washington player's been knocked out by his own teammate.
John Madden: You know, there's a rule in sports, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations."
Pat Summerall: There is?
John Madden: Yep.
John Madden: I love to see a fat guy score.
Pat Summerall: Why?
John Madden: Because first you get a fat guy spike, then you get the fat guy dance.
Jimmy McGinty: When the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that date, there was no tickertape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop, or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out, and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.
Pat Summerall: Players are not supposed to to be fraternizing with the cheerleaders.
John Madden: Yeah, but what are they gonna do, fire him?
Shane Falco: Gentlemen. It's been an honor to share the field of battle with you.
John Madden: I think that guy's smoking on the field.
Pat Summerall: Smoking? I'm sure you're just imagining that, John.
John Madden: No, no, I saw it. I saw the smoke and everything.
Jimmy McGinty: Like a duck on the pond. On the surface everything looks calm, but beneath the water those little feet are churning a mile a minute.
Clifford Franklin: Now you know this don't look natural Coach. Now you know it don't... I look like I just jacked off an elephant.
Edward O'Neil: I've seen monkey-shit fights at the zoo that are more organized than this.
Jimmy McGinty: The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of: a second chance. And you're afraid of blowing it. We all are. But now our fear is shared, and we can overcome it together.
Eddie Martel: This doesn't change anything Falco! I'm still an All-Pro quarterback with two Superbowl rings. You'll never be anything more than a replacement player.
Shane Falco: Yeah. Yeah, I can live with that.
Shane Falco: Red. Means Stop.
Jamal Jackson: The Mick's right.
Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff: I'm not a Mick. I'm bloody welsh.
Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff: Hey Shane Falco. I lost a ton of money on that Sugar Bowl disaster of yours. What a bloody shambles that was. You could smell the stink all the way back in bloody Wales.
Shane Falco: Nice meeting you.
John Madden: According to the Sentinels, it says Ray Smith is - hey, that's weird. No college given, no high school. It just says he's been a resident of the state of Maryland for the last two years and two months, and that he likes to embroider.
Jimmy McGinty: You're looking at a 65-yard field goal here.
Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff: You just hold the ball, Shane, and I'll kick the bloody piss out of it.
Doris Horner/Wannabee Cheerleader: California oranges. Texas cactus. We think your team needs a little practice. Put 'em in a high chair, feed 'em with a spoon. Roll 'em up in toilet paper, kick 'em to the Moon.