Best comedy movie quotes of 1997

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
As Good As It Gets picture

Melvin Udall: I've got a really great compliment for you, and it's true.
Carol Connelly: I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful.
Melvin Udall: Don't be pessimistic, it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what - ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never... All right, well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.
Carol Connelly: I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me.
Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol Connelly: ...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin Udall: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

More As Good As It Gets quotes
Liar Liar picture

Judge Stevens: Are we ready to begin?
Dana: We are ready, your honor.
Fletcher: No, your honor. We are not ready to begin because my client has not arrived.
[The courtroom doors open and Samantha walks in with her children and nanny.]
Samantha: You keep those kids quiet, Lupe. I am not even close to kidding.
Fletcher: [Singing] Here she comes to wreck the day!
Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede!
Fletcher: Sorry, your honor.

More Liar Liar quotes
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery picture

Dr. Evil: Very well, where should I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical; summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shawn scrotum. At the age of eighteen, I went off to evil medical school. From there.

More Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery quotes
Grosse Pointe Blank picture

Debi Newberry: You're a psychopath.
Martin Blank: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for money. It's a job... That didn't come out right.

More Grosse Pointe Blank quotes
Men in Black picture

Large cop: If you were half the man I am... [Jay looks pointedly at policeman's stomach] I am half the man you are!

More Men in Black quotes
Chasing Amy picture

Alyssa: Can men fuck each other?
Banky Edwards: Are you asking for my permission?

More Chasing Amy quotes
Commandments picture

Harry Lucia: I break 5 or 6 commandments every day before lunch.

More Commandments quotes
Excess Baggage picture

Vincent: You don't know where you are, you don't know who I am, and you're cuffed to my bathroom pipe. Honey, don't do me like that.

More Excess Baggage quotes
Father's Day picture

Dale Putley: Jack, look at this.
Jack Lawrence: It's money. I remember it from when I was single.

More Father's Day quotes
Flubber picture

Coach Willy Barker: All right, Squirrels! Listen up here now. Okay, Rutland may have us in height and reach... weight and power... agility, speed and talent... They have the advantage on offense... and defense... Sure they are better coached... Better trained... And their will to win is unmatched in the conference... They are undefeated in the last 108 games. But that doesn't mean we can't whip these guys, right?

More Flubber quotes
Fools Rush In picture

Amalia: You left Alex with your brothers?
Isabel Fuentes: And Chuy.
Amalia: Oh, I better light another candle.

More Fools Rush In quotes
Good Burger picture

Kurt: I want you to bail on Good Burger. You make your sauce for Kurt.
Ed: Who's Kurt?
Kurt: I'm Kurt.
Ed: I'm Ed.
Kurt: I'm aware.
Ed: You said you were Kurt.

More Good Burger quotes
Life is Beautiful picture

Guido: Buon giorno, Principessa.

More Life is Beautiful quotes
My Best Friend's Wedding picture

George Downes: Michael's chasing Kimmy?
Julianne Potter: Yes.
George Downes: You're chasing Michael?
Julianne Potter: YES.
George Downes: Who's chasing you... nobody, get it? There's your answer. It's Kimmy.

More My Best Friend's Wedding quotes
Vegas Vacation picture

Cousin Eddie: That's it Clark... show him who's boss. It's people like you who come here and blow the family nest egg that built this town... not this pretty boy.

More Vegas Vacation quotes
Nothing to Lose picture

T. Paul: Hey, is this your wife? Damn! I see why you were upset! Not bad Nick, not bad, Nick! You know, for a cheatin' bitch.
Nick Beam: Hey! Don't you call her that, you don't know her, don't say that.
T. Paul: Okay, okay, no disrespect. What should I call her?"Monogamously challenged"?

More Nothing to Lose quotes
Picture Perfect picture

Rita Mosely: I'd like a grandchild. So, shoot me.
Kate Mosley: All right, Ma. Well, you'll be happy to know I'm looking into getting some eggs frozen.
Rita Mosely: Wonderful. I can tell everyone I'm having a grandsicle.

More Picture Perfect quotes
Rocketman picture

William Overbeck: How'd you like to be the first guy to die on Mars.
Fred Randall: Well sorry Mr. First to Show Inappropriate Anger on Mars.

More Rocketman quotes
Romy and Michele's High School Reunion picture

Heather: OK cowboy, I don't know what your trip is, but if this is some kind of a sick game... If you fuck with me, in any way, I will rip each and every appendage from your body, starting with your dick. Capice?

More Romy and Michele's High School Reunion quotes
Spice World picture

Clifford: They're hot, Chief! They've got fire in their eyes, hunger in their bellies and great big shoes on their feet.

More Spice World quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.