Best comedy movie quotes of 1997

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Movie Quote Quiz
As Good As It Gets picture

Melvin Udall: I've got a really great compliment for you, and it's true.
Carol Connelly: I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful.
Melvin Udall: Don't be pessimistic, it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what - ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never... All right, well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.
Carol Connelly: I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me.
Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol Connelly: ...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin Udall: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

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Liar Liar picture

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Fletcher Reede: It depends on how long you were following me!
Cop: Why don't we just start from the top?
Fletcher Reede: Here it goes. I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I changed lanes at an intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING!
Cop: Is that all?
Fletcher Reede: [Forced.] No. I have unpaid parking tickets.

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Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery picture

Dr. Evil: Very well, where should I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical; summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shawn scrotum. At the age of eighteen, I went off to evil medical school. From there.

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Grosse Pointe Blank picture

Debi Newberry: You're a psychopath.
Martin Blank: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for money. It's a job... That didn't come out right.

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Chasing Amy picture

Alyssa: Can men fuck each other?
Banky Edwards: Are you asking for my permission?

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Addicted to Love picture

Maggie: I sleep naked. It's the only way I'm comfortable, so don't think of it as a come-on, because if you so much as breathe in my direction I will nail your willy to that beam.

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Bean picture

Kevin Langley: I can't sleep. I can'e stop thinking about naked women. What about you?
Mr. Bean: Whistler's Mother.
Kevin Langley: Well, whatever turns you on.

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Drive picture

Advanced Model: It's time to come home, Toby.

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Excess Baggage picture

Vincent: I once stole a Ferrari with a Chihuahua in the back. He made less noise than you do.

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Father's Day picture

Dale Putley: For years I've thought about killing myself. It's the only thing that kept me going.

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Fools Rush In picture

Alex Whitman: Isabel, don't jump.
Isabel Fuentes: I'm not going to kill myself, stupid. But if you come any closer, I'll throw your ass over.

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George of the Jungle picture

Narrator: Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. They just get really big boo-boos.

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Good Burger picture

Kurt's assistant: If you ask me, the guy's a few tacos short of a combination plate.

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Home Alone 3 picture

Alice: Good Afternoon, my husband and I just moved into the neighborhood.

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The Man Who Knew Too Little picture

Wallace: She told me about the letters.
Gilbert Embleton: Letters? What letters?
Wallace: The letters. She told me about them. I know all about the letters. How do you think I know? She told me. That's how I found out.

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Mouse Hunt picture

Lars: Some things are more important than money, Ernie.
Ernie: Notice it's always the financially challenged who say that?

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My Best Friend's Wedding picture

Julianne Potter: You're going to humiliate me, aren't you?
George Downes: Only if I can.

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Vegas Vacation picture

Marty: Woo hoo... Big bet for a BIG man... Sure you don't want to save a few bucks for the buffet?

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Picture Perfect picture

Kate Mosley: I can be a "bad" girl, Sam.

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Private Parts picture

12-Year-Old Howard: But why can't I play with my puppets?
Ben Stern: Shut up, ya know why.

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