Audience Member: You should run for President! It would send a message.
Michael Moore: What message? Eat out more often?
Toby Wong: Back to plan A.
Malik Brody: What's plan A?
Toby Wong: Don't get shot.
Malik Brody: Good plan.
Dale Putley: Do you know who I am? I am the cowboy with the Village People, Bob, if I don't get back there, it's just gonna be "Y-M-_-A!"
Rutland Coach: Hey, are you blind? They're doin' something illegal out there.
Referee: Coach, nowhere in the rule book does it say anything about jumpin' too high. Now sit down.
Mr. Baily: What was our take today?
Fizz: 43 dollars and 9 cents.
Mr. Baily: That's it? Well, I suppose I could always feed my mother cat food.
Dexter: Now probably wouldn't be the best time to ask for a raise?
Mr. Baily: No.
Jackson: We are from the Firm But Fair Eviction and Collection Agency. Now I, I have a list of certain items that we are empowered to collect under Federal and State law in lieu unpaid debts. And furthermore we are contracted to serve upon you notice of eviction from these here premises, uh, forthwith.
Michael Cromwell: I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
Richard Kempster: I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?
Darcy O'Neal: I was born married, baby.
Howard Stern: Lesbians equals ratings.
Michele: Let's fold scarves.
Lizzie: I know karate.
Lilly: Oh, well at least I was faithful.
Dan: Yeah, you were faithful like a Kennedy was faithful.
Richard Rietti: Maybe he's the person that he con'd the most. I mean we all do that, you know. We all keep a little bit of ourselves hidden. Cuz if we didn't, well, then we'd have to look at who we are. Who we really are. And if we didn't like it, well, we'd have nobody to blame but ourselves.
Peagreen Clock: Great, just great. I've been outside for two minutes and I'm covered in POO.
Leah: We have been friends since like sperm.