12-Year-Old Howard: But why can't I play with my puppets?
Ben Stern: Shut up, ya know why.
Howard (as MamaLookaboobooday): "Kill Kill Kill the White Man" by Eugene Mamalookaboobooday. Eugene is my pen name 'cause I wrote this while I was in the Pen.
Howard Stern: Lesbians equals ratings.
Howard Stern: We never went to ballgames. The only sport my dad liked was yelling.
Lawyer (Barry): Page 108, paragraph 3, No jokes involving flatulence, excretion, urination, ejaculation, or other bodily functions.
Lawyer (Jerry): Also, no use of the seven so-called seven dirty words. These are cocksucker, mother-fucker, fuck, shit, cunt, cock, and pussy.
Roger Erlick: Howard is on the FCC's Most Wanted List.