Phillip Brainard: If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.
Coach Willy Barker: All right, Squirrels! Listen up here now. Okay, Rutland may have us in height and reach... weight and power... agility, speed and talent... They have the advantage on offense... and defense... Sure they are better coached... Better trained... And their will to win is unmatched in the conference... They are undefeated in the last 108 games. But that doesn't mean we can't whip these guys, right?
Wilson Croft: What happened between us, Phil?
Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Well, I just got tired of you stealing my ideas, Wilson.
Wilson Croft: I'm not an innovator like you, Phil. I'm an adapter, and to that end, I have profited from your ideas.
Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Why are you here?
Wilson Croft: Well, to be honest. I'm here this weekend to steal your fiancee. And make her my wife.
Professor Philip 'Phil' Brainard: Well, I think you'll be sadly disappointed.
Rutland Coach: Hey, are you blind? They're doin' something illegal out there.
Referee: Coach, nowhere in the rule book does it say anything about jumpin' too high. Now sit down.