Celine: Remember what they didn't teach you at Harvard Business school.
Robert: I didn't go to Harvard Business school.
Celine: That's a figure of speech, Robert.
O'Reilly: Human fucking beings. What do you have to do?
Celine: What's wrong?
Robert: What's wrong, you crazy bitch, is I thought you were gonna shoot me! THAT'S what's wrong.
Elliot Zweikel: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a good husband in this town? Let alone a good dentist.
Celine: "Kill me but don't touch the girl." You should be on television.
Elliot Zweikel: I wish you hadn't done that. Now I have to have to hurt you, which is inconvenient and undignified.
Jackson: Have you ever felt like you're not in control of your life?
Robert: Why are you such a pain to be with?
Celine: Because you tied me to a chair all night.
O'Reilly: We can do this with or without violence, it's up to you. The client pays our medical bills but not yours. Well?
Robert: Oh, without, please.
Robert: And don't ask where I'm going.
Celine: Don't even imagine that I care.
Robert: Exactly the problem.
Tod: Do you think that I'd talk to a dog? Do you think I'd ask a dog whether you're good or evil? What do you think I am? Some kind of crazy backwoods lunatic with a barn full of human skulls and a scythe that I sharpen every day in readiness for Armageddon?
Robert: No, no, not at all, I'm sure you're just a regular kind of guy.
Tod: Right, I'm regular, I am a regular man. I want... but that's not the point! The point is, who are you? WHO ARE you?
Jackson: We are from the Firm But Fair Eviction and Collection Agency. Now I, I have a list of certain items that we are empowered to collect under Federal and State law in lieu unpaid debts. And furthermore we are contracted to serve upon you notice of eviction from these here premises, uh, forthwith.
Celine: You don't know how I feel. Only the exceptionally rich can know how I feel.
Celine's Mother: Remember my dear, they only want one thing. Maybe they want it more than once, but it's still only one thing.
Celine: Despite your crummy poem, I came to see you and all you could do was humiliate me and turn me away. I thought you were decent, but it turns out you're just a lying, cheating bastard like all the rest.
Robert: Are you taking me to a hospital? Because I don't want to die in a hospital.
Celine: I'm not going to take you to a hospital.
Robert: What? What do you mean you're not taking me to a hospital? I demand to be taken to a hospital.
O'Reilly: Jeopardy, Jackson. Always works.