Liar Liar
Movie Quote Quiz

Driver: What's your problem, schmuck?
Fletcher: I'm an inconsiderate prick!

Fletcher: Look. I need to lie. Everybody lies. Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies.
Max Reede: But you're the only one who makes me feel bad.

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Fletcher Reede: It depends on how long you were following me!
Cop: Why don't we just start from the top?
Fletcher Reede: Here it goes. I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I changed lanes at an intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING!
Cop: Is that all?
Fletcher Reede: [Forced.] No. I have unpaid parking tickets.

Judge Stevens: Are we ready to begin?
Dana: We are ready, your honor.
Fletcher: No, your honor. We are not ready to begin because my client has not arrived.
[The courtroom doors open and Samantha walks in with her children and nanny.]
Samantha: You keep those kids quiet, Lupe. I am not even close to kidding.
Fletcher: [Singing] Here she comes to wreck the day!
Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede!
Fletcher: Sorry, your honor.

Coworker: Hey, Fletcher, how's it hanging?
Fletcher: Short, shriveled and always to the left.

[Fletcher is beating himself up in the bathroom when a man walks in.]
Man: What the hell are you doing?
Fletcher Reede: I'm kicking my ass. Do you mind?

Audrey: Where were you?
Fletcher: Having sex.
Audrey: Well, I hope it was with someone *very* special!
Fletcher: No, see - that's the thing. I don't even like her, but she's a partner and I thought I could help my career by making her squeal.

Homeless Drunk: Do you have any spare change mister?
Fletcher Reede: Yes, I do.
Homeless Drunk: Well, can I have some?
Fletcher Reede: No!
Homeless Drunk: Why not?
Fletcher Reede: Because I believe you will buy booze with it. I just want to get from my car to my office without being confronted by the decay of Western society. Plus, I'm cheap!

Fletcher Reede: New in the building?
Woman in elevator: Yes. I just moved in Monday.
Fletcher Reede: Oh. Do you like it so far?
Woman in elevator: Oh yes. Everyone's been real nice to me.
Fletcher Reede: Well, that's because you have big jugs.
[Both the woman and Fletcher are totally shocked at what he just said.]
Fletcher Reede: I mean your boobs are huge. I mean I want to squeeze them.
[Still aghast at what he's saying.]
Fletcher Reede: Mama.

Fletcher: I was hoping after being married to me you'd have no more strength left.
Audrey: Well, you have to remember that when we were married, I wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were.

Fletcher: You scratched my car.
Impound Attendant: Where?
Fletcher: [shows scratch.] Right there.
Impound Attendant: Oh, that? That was already there.
Fletcher: You LIAR. Do you know what I'm going to do about this?
Impound Attendant: What?
Fletcher: Nothing. Because if I take you to small claims court it'll just drain eight hours out of my life and even if I got the judgment you'd probably stiff me anyway. So what I'm gonna do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk and then BEND OVER AND TAKE IT UP THE TAIL PIPE.
Impound Attendant: You've been here before haven't you?

Fletcher: Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me?
Audrey: No - I divorced you because I was mad at you.

Pete: Hey, what's up, Fletcher?
Fletcher: Your cholesterol, fatty.

Fletcher: You brought your kids to your divorce?
Samantha: Sympathy.
Fletcher: Well, it's working! I feel sorry for them already!

Max Reede: My dad? He's... A liar.
Teacher: A liar? I'm sure you don't mean a liar.
Max Reede: Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Teacher: Oh, you mean he's a lawyer.

Max Reede: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.

Greta: Mr. Reede, several years ago a friend of mine had a burglar on her roof, a burglar. He fell through the kitchen skylight, landed on a cutting board, on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg. The burglar sued my friend, he sued my friend. And because of guys like you *he won*. My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. Is that justice?
Fletcher: No! I'd have got him ten.

Jane: Do you like my new dress?
Fletcher: What ever takes the focus off your head!

Continuity mistake: In the scene where Audrey is in the mini-van with Max, she has her seat belt on, then the camera cuts to Max, and when it returns to Audrey with her seat belt off.

Upvote valid corrections to help move entries into the corrections section.

Suggested correction: They are in the car several times during the film. Which scene are you referring to?

MovieFan612 Premium member

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Trivia: Jim Carrey turned down the role of Dr. Evil in Austin Powers so he could do this movie.

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Question: After Fletcher gets his son to try to unwish the "No lying" wish, he tests to see if it works. He gets slapped in the face. When his son asks "Did it work?", Fletcher says, "Not as well as I had hoped." What did he mean by that?

Answer: As you said, he was testing to see if the wish was broken--by going up to an attractive woman and talking to her. While we don't hear what happens, he apparently said something a little too "forward" to her (probably more forward than he would have done otherwise, hence the "not as well as I had hoped"), and got slapped, so he knew that he was still under the wish's effects.

Chanteuse66

But I want to know what he said to the woman.

It's deliberately made unclear what he specifically said, because him getting slapped in the face is the gag that shows the audience that he's still under the spell. If we heard what he said, then we would know right away the new wish wouldn't have worked. It's ultimately up to the viewer's imagination to decide what he told the woman.

Phaneron Premium member

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