Best comedy movie quotes of 2003

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Movie Quote Quiz
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl picture

Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them... Three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to get yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?

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Bad Boys II picture

Mike Lowrey: We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.

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Love Actually picture

Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!

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Elf picture

Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies!

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The Cat in the Hat picture

Cat in the Hat: Don't worry, I have three plans. Plan A: Mess up a perfectly clean house. Done that! Plan B: Cut your losses and ditch the kids. That could work.
Sally: What about that one?
Cat in the Hat: Plan C: Trick Mom's boyfriend into handing over dog and lock. I don't know. I still like Plan B.

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Scary Movie 3 picture

George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
Tom: Oh. I better tell her.
George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
Sue: Yes?
George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
Sue: Yeah.
George: She's dead!
Sue: Aah!
George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
Sue: My dog's dead?
George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!

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Finding Nemo picture

Gurgle: Oh, the human mouth is a disgusting place.

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National Security picture

Instructor: Impressive shooting, Montgomery. You realize though, that you missed the target in the middle?
Earl Montgomery: Who, the brother? Oh I wasn't shooting at him.
Instructor: Mind telling me why not?
Earl Montgomery: He don't look suspicious, to me. Look at'em. One lone brother, surrounded by four white guys with guns? The man is terrified. What you want him to do, tap dance? Don't worry brother, I got you. Don't be afraid to dial 911. I keeps it clean, when Earl Montgomery's on the scene. What the problem is?

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Johnny English picture

Bough: Shall we call for back-up sir?
Johnny English: What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so.

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School of Rock picture

Dewey: Billy what makes you angrier than anything in the world?
Billy: You.
Dewey: Billy, we've already told me off, now let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you.
Dewey: Ok, you see me after class!

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Bulletproof Monk picture

Kar: So, I figured it out, why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan so be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.

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Head of State picture

Mays: Yo, Lewis. Your mother's ass is so big, when she sits down she's three feet taller. Yo, Lewis. Your mother got a really big ass.
Advisor: Sir, I think it's time we prepare for a debate.
Senator Lewis: Give me one good reason to debate that jerk.
Advisor: He talked about your mother, sir.
Senator Lewis: So what?
[Senator Lewis' mother walks up to him and slaps him in the face.]
Mother: Are you just going to let him talk about me like that?

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American Wedding picture

Stifler: Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.

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Bad Santa picture

Willy:...and I went to my father. And you know what he did? He kicked my ass. And do you know why?
Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy's dishes?

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Cheaper by the Dozen picture

Tom Baker: You soaked his underwear in meat? That is so wrong. Funny, but wrong.

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Bruce Almighty picture

Bruce: God, why do you hate me?

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A Guy Thing picture

Dorothy: Where's the groom-to-be?
Karen: He's not here yet.
Dorothy: You know Paul, he always comes a little late.
Buck: What do you think of that, Kenny?

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How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days picture

Tony: Couples therapy, it'll buy you at least four days.

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Shanghai Knights picture

Roy: So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?
Chon Wang: No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal.
Roy: That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool.

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Old School picture

Beanie: He's playing hardball. And I got to admit. I'm impressed.

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