Best comedy movie quotes of 2003

Hatcher: I suppose now we have a conversation where you enlighten me. How many more of you are out there? Enlighten me. Where are the rest of your compadres? Enlighten me.

Hub: WE'RE OLD, damnit! leave US alone.
Garth: The last thing we need is some little sissy boy hanging around all summer.

Dewey: Billy what makes you angrier than anything in the world?
Billy: You.
Dewey: Billy, we've already told me off, now let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you.
Dewey: Ok, you see me after class!

Julian Mercer: When something happens to you that hasn't happened before, don't you at least have to find out what it is?

Tom Baker: You soaked his underwear in meat? That is so wrong. Funny, but wrong.

Ape: George, I should've told you earlier, but I have some gambling debts that I have to pay off for a little while.
George: How little?
Ape: Seventeen years.
George: George think maybe that might be too late.

Mr. Sir: There ain't nothing down there. We woulda found it by now.
Mr. Pendanski: I wouldn't tell the queen bee that.
Mr. Sir: I ain't on stupid pills!

Macca

Bough: Shall we call for back-up sir?
Johnny English: What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so.

Sarah: Tom, have you ever not told me something cause you were afraid of how I would react? Like have you ever not told me the truth about anything?
Tom: Like when I told you I liked your brother?
Sarah: This is serious Tom.
Tom: I am serious, I really don't like him.

Ben: Hanging with her for 10 days is gonna be no problem.
Tony: Right. That's only nine days longer than you've ever spent with any other chick, huh?

Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean Pritchard: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean Pritchard: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean Pritchard: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.

Sally Weston: Paris, First Class, International.

Mays: Yo, Lewis. Your mother's ass is so big, when she sits down she's three feet taller. Yo, Lewis. Your mother got a really big ass.
Advisor: Sir, I think it's time we prepare for a debate.
Senator Lewis: Give me one good reason to debate that jerk.
Advisor: He talked about your mother, sir.
Senator Lewis: So what?
[Senator Lewis' mother walks up to him and slaps him in the face.]
Mother: Are you just going to let him talk about me like that?

Henry Dashwood: I think I owe you a rather large apology.
Libby Reynolds: Do you think I've waited 17 years for an apology?

Lou: So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. And I was like, you know 'Don't go there, ' you know. But he kept on about wanting to see some kind of a doctor's note or something. And I said 'Look, I'm seriously serious. You don't want to go there. He kept talking and talking and being such a nag, and I just blacked out. I blacked out. And I woke up, and I was standing over him and I was screaming "I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!"

PJ: If you jacked it, how come you got a receipt?
B-Rad: I stole that too.

Lars Olfen: I had a garage band in Stockholm, which was a challenge in its own right, to keep an instrument tuned with that temperature swing. There's a block warmer for the Volvo in the garage but it's cold in there in the winter. So we played and I had a hit that you might have heard of. "Hur?r l?get, lilla gumman?" which means, "How's It Hanging, Grandma?" and it was big on the Swedish charts.

Charlie Hinton: Hey, man, how did it go in there?
Max: ...I missed.
Charlie Hinton: He heh... what does that mean?
Max: I missed.
Charlie Hinton: Oh, hell, no.

Joanie Fisher: And she's English?
Colin Ware: Welsh. Well, half Welsh.
Joanie Fisher: Half Welsh and half.
Colin Ware: Monster.

Theodore Banner: You're my creative team, create a reason to get rid of her or I'll create a new creative team.