Mike Lowrey: We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.
Mike Lowrey: You know, Dan Marino should definitely buy this car. Well, not this one, 'cause I'm gonna fuck this one up. But he should definitely get one just like it.
Marcus Burnett: Mike, I can't even get an erection. I tried taking Viagra. Popped one, popped two. I've been eating them like Skittles.
Mike Lowrey: Now that's how you supposed to shoot! From now on, that's how you shoot! Oh man, I want my next partner to shoot like that. It takes a dysfunctional motherfucker to bust somebody in the head like that. That's some dysfunctional shit! My next partner's gonna invite me to his barbeques and shit, though.
Capt. Howard: 22 cars and a boat, totalled? How did hell you sink a boat?
Marcus Burnett: I think we just broke the record for the number of gun fights in one week.
Capt. Howard: I've got so much brass up my ass that I can play the Star Spangled Banner.
Mike Lowrey: See, that's that new spiritual shit my partner's on. Me? I actually prefer shooting motherfuckers.
Mike Lowrey: It ain't exactly a pool, man. It's like a big-ass puddle wrapped in blue plastic.
Mike Lowrey: Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Floyd Poteet: We've got our rights.
Mike Lowrey: Why don't you exercise your right to shut the fuck up?