Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Gimli: Certainty of death; small chance of success...what are we waiting for?
O-Ren Ishii: As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, but always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've chosen is the wisest, tell me so. But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is: I collect your fucking head. [Holds up Boss Tanaka's head.] Just like this fucker here. Now if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME! [Silence.] I didn't think so.
Instructor: Impressive shooting, Montgomery. You realize though, that you missed the target in the middle?
Earl Montgomery: Who, the brother? Oh I wasn't shooting at him.
Instructor: Mind telling me why not?
Earl Montgomery: He don't look suspicious, to me. Look at'em. One lone brother, surrounded by four white guys with guns? The man is terrified. What you want him to do, tap dance? Don't worry brother, I got you. Don't be afraid to dial 911. I keeps it clean, when Earl Montgomery's on the scene. What the problem is?
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!
Cat in the Hat: Don't worry, I have three plans. Plan A: Mess up a perfectly clean house. Done that! Plan B: Cut your losses and ditch the kids. That could work.
Sally: What about that one?
Cat in the Hat: Plan C: Trick Mom's boyfriend into handing over dog and lock. I don't know. I still like Plan B.
George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
Tom: Oh. I better tell her.
George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
George: She's dead!
George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
Sue: My dog's dead?
George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!
David Gale: There once was a lesbian from Cancun/ who took a young man up to her room/ where they argued all night/ as to who had the right/ to do what and how much and to whom.
Kar: So, I figured it out, why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan so be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.
Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.
Capt. Jack Aubrey: This is the second time he's done this to me. There will not be a third.
Agent Smith: Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more than just your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desparately to justify an existence that is without meaning or porpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why?! Why do you persist?!
Neo: Because I choose to.
Doc Barlow: I'd say 'to good health, ' gentlemen, but then I'd probably be out of business, wouldn't I?
Boss Spearman: We'll drink to good health for them that have it coming.
Charlene Morton: Pretend I'm your wife. Talk dirty to me.
Peter Sanderson: Um, okay... I wanna kiss you A LOT.
Charlene Morton: No no no! Dirtier.
Peter Sanderson: I wanna give you - an aromatherapy massage.
Charlene Morton: Try harder.
Peter Sanderson: I wanna have sexual intercourse with.
Charlene Morton: I give up.