Joe Gavilan: Fuck you very much.
Jessica's Father: Oh my God. He shit everywhere. There's shit everywhere! Damn it! There's shit on the windows! Oh my God! My house is full of shit! He shit everywhere! Look what he did, he shit all over the wall!
Blake: My best friend was just killed, Dad! So how about giving me some fucking space?
Spike: I am Spike. Full name: Down, Spike, down! Get off that couch.
Alexa: I tried my hardest to keep y'all apart, you just kept gettin' back together... and I'm the queen of connivin'.
Adam Shipley: He was wracked with confusion. For the first time in his life, he understood the true meaning of the expressions "horns of a dilemma" and "between a rock and a hard place" - although the concept of "paying through the nose" had always tormented him. How does the money get in the nose in the first place? Once in, is it pulled out by hand, or is a sneeze involved? And who would accept such a transaction? Burning questions all, but he had bigger fish to fry.
Donnie Anderson: Do you get scared? Yeah. You stay scared? Better not.
Elle: I'm here to speak for those who can't speak for themselves.
Sinbad: Who's bad? Sinbad.
Lorna Queen: Well... look at you Halley.
Halley: That's hard to do without a mirror isn't it?
Lorna Queen: Honey you keep getting prettier every day.
Halley: I have no idea how you could say that because you definitely don't see me every day. And yesterday, oh my God I was so ugly. And last Wednesday, that sucked too, so it's kind of a day to day thing.
Brian: She's like the ones at the Baywatch. They make my penis sneeze.
Larry Gigli: You got a good sense of humor, you know that?
Brian: God bless you.
Larry Gigli: Thank you.
Brian: No, not you, stupid. When my penis sneezes, I say, 'God bless you'... God bless you, penis.
Veronica Guerin: You'd do the same. If you saw those kids on the street, you would do the same.
Dustin: Lil Bow Wow, you keep barkin', you and I are gonna take a one way walk into the woods.
Snakehead: Treat him like a prince.
Jack Taylor: What's this I hear about you threatening to spray this play with an AK-47?
Tom Stansfield: Oh... well, I was just making a joke.
Jack Taylor: Oh that's funny to you? People dying? And what's this I hear about you making fun of midgets?
Tom Stansfield: I never make fun of midgets.
Jack Taylor: You said, it would be fun to date one because then you could rest your beer on their head, now I have a sense of humour, but that's just sick.
Dickie Roberts: May I help you? Was I being too loud in my treeehouse?
Sam Drebben: Another day, another dollar.
Desi Arnaz: I work hard, I play hard, I drink hard and I love hard.