Eva Braun: Now why is it, Herr Hitler, that no photographer has ever been able to capture the incredible magnetism of your eyes?
El Presidente: Who are you guys?
El Mariachi: Sons of Mexico, sir.
Roy: Fourteen! You're fourteen! When'd you have time to get arrested?
Amanda: Jerry, don't be mad. Don't be mad. And don't be mad at Ron, he was just trying to help.
Jerry Falk: Of course he was. Ron? How could I be upset at Ron? In fact, remind me please to put him on my Christmas list if I can figure out how to make a letterbomb.
Toby Radloff: You might want to try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.
Mrs. Connelly: Tell me about yourselves. What do you do Alan?
Alex Rose: Uh, it's Alex.
Nancy Kendricks: Alex is a writer.
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job. I suppose I'm forgetting about Joyce.
Alex Rose: Joyce. James Joyce. Of course. Wonderful writer.
Mrs. Connelly: He died drunk and penniless.
Les Gault: What'd you do that for?
Joe Taylor: I had no use for it.
Les Gault: Must be worth something, though.
Joe Taylor: Not to me.
Alicia: Guys, check out this book. Looks pretty old, maybe it'll help us.
Colonel Blount: Don't think me discourteous, but I'm afraid it's impossible for me to ask you to luncheon. I have a guest coming on intimate family business. It's some young rascal who wants to marry my daughter.
Adam Fenwick-Symes: Well, I want to marry your daughter too.
Colonel Blount: What an extraordinary thing. Are you sure?
Psychologist: You know, some folks believe everyone has a public life, a private life, and a secret life. What do you think about that?
Dan Mahowny: The thing is, I guess... that my secret life... is a bit less secret than everyone else's right now.
Evelyn: I think everyone should see themselves doing it and their friends should see it too.
Nick Callahan: If I could live this life again, I would never leave you for a second.
Phil Kaufman: What the hell are you doing?
Larry Oster-Berg: The steering lock is on.
Phil Kaufman: Well, turn it off.
Larry Oster-Berg: I can't. He's got the key.
Phil Kaufman: So we can escape, but we can only drive in a circle.
Larry Oster-Berg: Yes.
DJ Drake: Have you seen those "Mummy" movies? I'm in them more than Brendan Fraser is!
Bootsie Carp: You've never fooled me! You're nothing but trash washed over the Canadian border.
Katherine Watson: You can confirm to what other people expect of you, or.
Betty Warren: I know. Be ourselves.
Julia Cook: Don't make me grieve for you.
Ned Kelly: I ain't dead yet.
Harrison: I'll fuckin' finish you off faster than a fuckin' birthday cake at a fat chick's fuckin' birthday party.
Twitty: Okay, I'll tell you guys again: I've never met the Stevens family, okay? My name is Lawrence Honeytoast, I'm a marine biologist, and I'm here on top-secret government business.