The Devil: Hmm. You know what they say. In order for one to succeed, another must fail.
Elle: Hello, Patriots! I don't think I've been this excited since Gucci became a publicly-traded company.
Timothy McGinn: Oh my God, it's capital Barbie.
Reena: She's so... shiny.
Tom: Well... we could go to Taco Bell if that's more your style.
Iggy: You callin' me a Taco Bell kind of guy?
Cody Banks: What was my mission again?
Natalie Connors: I think you were going to kiss me.
Les Gault: What'd you do that for?
Joe Taylor: I had no use for it.
Les Gault: Must be worth something, though.
Joe Taylor: Not to me.
Fait: You read Chinese?
Archie: No, but I know "cop" in every language.
Carol: Have you ever been involved with a little person sexually?
Steven Bedalia: No, just kid's stuff, you know? Y'know, all the kids would come over, we'd sit in a circle, play doctor and that kind of thing. Couldn't have been more than ten or twelve, so that doesn't really count.
Carol: So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would have loved to see that.
Steven Bedalia: You would like to see that.
Carol: Yes, I would.
Adam Shipley: He was wracked with confusion. For the first time in his life, he understood the true meaning of the expressions "horns of a dilemma" and "between a rock and a hard place" - although the concept of "paying through the nose" had always tormented him. How does the money get in the nose in the first place? Once in, is it pulled out by hand, or is a sneeze involved? And who would accept such a transaction? Burning questions all, but he had bigger fish to fry.
Jacki: A murderer, a rapist and a dyke go into a tattoo parlor.
Charley: Excuse the cryin'. I am a damn cryin' machine. That's why I drink so much water, won't have any fluids left in me. Have you ever been depressed?
William Gibbs: I've never not been depressed.
King: Sometimes, Jake, style can get you killed.
Tom Stansfield: Hey put the crowbar down, or I will blow your ass to fucktown.
Fairy Queen: Alone they are two, but together they are one. That kind of selfless love has awesome power.
Lila: Ah! Two for one.
Sam Drebben: Another day, another dollar.
Jonathon Cold: You like the dollar bill?
Mimms: Dead presidents. Greenbacks. You care to expound.
Aman Mathur: I have a theory about girls. The more you run after them, the more they will run away from you. But if you run away from them they will be confused and will run after you to find out the reason for their confusion. And we have to take advantage of such a confusion of a confused girl.
Rohit Patel: Even I'm confused.
Spike: I am Spike. Full name: Down, Spike, down! Get off that couch.
Mrs. Gertrude: Aren't you a bit big to be in a stroller?
Dickie Roberts: Aren't you bit big to be on the sidewalk?