Best comedy movie quotes of 2015

Susan Cooper: Where'd you get a suit?
Rick Ford: I fucking made it, didn't I?

Darnell Lewis: We do this, we do this hard!
James King: I can get hard.

Sadness: You could get lost in there!
Joy: Think positive!
Sadness: Okay, I'm positive you will get lost in there.

Comic: So first, we need a historical event. Who's got an event?
Ted: 9/11!
Comic: Oh oh, okay. Okay, maybe something else. Uh, let's start with a person.
John: Robin Williams!
Comic: Okay, all right. For real, guys, for real. Who's got a person?
Ted: Robin Williams on 9/11!
Comic: Alright, we've heard from these guys, uh, let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location.
Ted: The offices of Charlie Hebdo!
Comic: Okay seriously, sir, I just need a location.
John: Ferguson, Missouri!
Ted: Germanwings cockpit!
Comic: Okay, I heard Starbucks!
Ted: No you didn't!
John: Nobody said Starbucks.
Comic: Alright, Starbucks! Okay now, who's in the Starbucks?
Ted: Bill Cosby.

Maya Blart: Look, Dad, you're going to have to get use to the idea that I'm a big girl now.
Paul Blart: Ok, first of all, we're all big. We're Blarts. Wide hips, thick ankles, and a low center of gravity. That's how the good Lord made us. That's why we're no good at running hurdles. Never will be.

Brenner: Pac-Man's a bad guy?

Jean Ainslie: I couldn't resist the chance to come out and visit the old crumbling ruins - and see how the hotel was doing as well.

Mortdecai: What should I do now?
Jock: Run, sir.
Mortdecai: Again?
Jock: Yes.

Squidward Tentacles: You know what this needs? Some interpretive dance.

Bianca Piper: Is that a wiener in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?

Aaron: You were really, really good.
Amy: As it turns out, I am in terrible physical shape.
Aaron: Yeah, I saw that.
Amy: Could you see that?
Aaron: Yeah.
Amy: I am sweating more than I am proud of.

Chloe: You seem so tense. Do you need a backrub?
Beca: Several body parts are rubbing my back right now, thank you.

Mitchell: Did you almost marry my mom?
Brian Gilcrest: Many, many times.
Mitchell: Why would anybody break up with my mom?

Turtle: Jesus Christ, this guy snuck into another relationship.
Eric Murphy: It's not a relationship. I'm just having fun.
Johnny Chase: Fun is when you forget a girl's name while you're fucking her.

Jack: You need to man up, Nancy.

Rusty Griswold: Maybe for lunch we can find a burger place. You know, like a... Like a drive-through burger place.
James Griswold: I don't know, Dad. I think we should steer clear of that.
Rusty Griswold: Good one, James.
Debbie Griswold: All right, enough, you guys. Dad hit a cow, okay? Let's just moo-ve on.
Kevin Griswold: Oh, I got one.
Rusty Griswold: Yeah, let's hear it.
Kevin Griswold: James is a piece of shit.
Rusty Griswold: Kinda missed the point there, buddy.

Victoria Lasseter: Cherry Progressive, listen. Mandelbrot set is in motion. Echo Choir has been breached.
Mike Howell: Is that a lyric from something?

Elle Reid: Love does not conquer everything.

Greg: Summer. What does that word even mean, right? More "summ." Winter, same deal. More "wint"?

Lainey: If you want someone to fall for you, you gotta be you.
Jake: Yeah I don't think I like me enough to introduce him to other people.