Best comedy movie quotes of 2015

Susan Cooper: Where'd you get a suit?
Rick Ford: I fucking made it, didn't I?

Darnell Lewis: We do this, we do this hard!
James King: I can get hard.

Sadness: You could get lost in there!
Joy: Think positive!
Sadness: Okay, I'm positive you will get lost in there.

Brenner: Pac-Man's a bad guy?

Lily: You're the ogre.
Adam Jones: Yes. But I bake great cakes.

Maya Blart: Look, Dad, you're going to have to get use to the idea that I'm a big girl now.
Paul Blart: Ok, first of all, we're all big. We're Blarts. Wide hips, thick ankles, and a low center of gravity. That's how the good Lord made us. That's why we're no good at running hurdles. Never will be.

Comic: So first, we need a historical event. Who's got an event?
Ted: 9/11!
Comic: Oh oh, okay. Okay, maybe something else. Uh, let's start with a person.
John: Robin Williams!
Comic: Okay, all right. For real, guys, for real. Who's got a person?
Ted: Robin Williams on 9/11!
Comic: Alright, we've heard from these guys, uh, let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location.
Ted: The offices of Charlie Hebdo!
Comic: Okay seriously, sir, I just need a location.
John: Ferguson, Missouri!
Ted: Germanwings cockpit!
Comic: Okay, I heard Starbucks!
Ted: No you didn't!
John: Nobody said Starbucks.
Comic: Alright, Starbucks! Okay now, who's in the Starbucks?
Ted: Bill Cosby.

Owens: I took you off the street. Taught you my trade. I taught you my passion. Three generations of skills. And in spite of all my earnest efforts, in spite of all my hard work, you turned into a good person.

Shauna: You are in four scenes, and you expect me to get you a magazine cover?
Johnny Chase: Scarlet Jo wasn't even on screen in Her, and she got a cover.
Shauna: If you had her tits, I could get you a cover.

Phoebe: It's not gonna be like this always, you know? Mike, you're like the strongest, kindest person I've ever met in my whole life. I fucking love you. You're a fucking mess, man.
Mike Howell: I know.

Neil Clarke: I could solve every problem in the world.
Dennis: Have you thought this thing through?

Mom: Those aren't your grandparents.

Greg: So again, if this was a touching, romantic story we'd obviously fall in love and she'd say all the wise, beautiful things that can only be learned in life's twilight or whatever. And then she'd die in my arms. But again, that's not what happened. She just got quieter and unhappier.

Jules: The truth is... something about you makes me feel calm, or more centered, or something. And I could use that. Obviously.

Gertie Michaels: You know that Chris broke up with Vicki last week, right? And she is a mess! Have you seen the veiled suicide note/poem she posted on her Facebook page? It's so hilarious! I read it out loud to myself. A lot.

Charlie Brown: Stupid kite-eating tree! Good grief.

David: I'm going to do it with a knife.
Short Sighted Woman: Do you want me to come with you?
David: I'd rather you didn't.
Short Sighted Woman: Don't worry. It's strange at first but then you'll get used to it. The other senses are heightened, touch for example, and hearing.
David: I know... I won't be long.

Omi: Like he had for thousands of years, Krampus came not to reward, but to punish. Not to give, but to take.

Alex: I can feel my hair growing.

Woody: Is that it?
Zach: No, it's another spaceship that fell out of the sky, dumbass.