
Robin Hood: For my first order of business, I wish to appoint a new Sheriff of Rottingham. My friend, Achoo.
Achoo: All right.
Crowd: A black sheriff?
Blinkin: He's black?
Achoo: And why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.

Mrs. Doubtfire: I hope you don't mind me being a tad rude, but... How was he? You know, on a scale of 1 to 10?
Miranda: Well, that part was always... Okay.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Just okay? Well, he was probably a Casanova compared to poor old Winston.
Miranda: What was the matter with Winston?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh dear, Winston's idea of foreplay was "Effie, brace yourself."

Debbie: Isn't he a lady killer?
Gomez Addams: Acquitted.

Phil Connors: What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!

Crawl: Let's just get the rules straight here. There'll be absolutely no partying in this hall between the hours of 5 and 6 in the morning, without my express written permission. OK cool. Carry on.

Lenina Huxley: Let's go blow this guy.
John Spartan: Away! Blow this guy *away*!
Lenina Huxley: Whatever.

Jack Slater: Sir, are you a henchman?
Benedict: No, I only go as far as lackey.

Jack Colt: Who are you?
Mr. Jigsaw: I'm your worst nightmare.
Jack Colt: No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare.

Cyclops: You starin' at my eye?
All: No.no...
Cyclops: A Union Army Soldier did this to me in the big one. Any you boys fight for the Union Army?
Miller: Shucks no.
Bell: Shucky dang darn...
Cyclops: So you the boys been killin' all my sheepies with them traps...
Noon: Naw... We just now gots here...
Cyclops: Where you from?
Humphrey: Nashville.
Cyclops: Well, heck, it's good to see some southern boys. It's been a while. [Singing.] Well I wish I was in the land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten, look away, look away, look away... [waits for others to finish.]
Humphrey:... You stupid Yank.
Cyclops: You ain't southern boys!
All: AAAAHHHHH!

Honey HorneƩ: Take me, Garth!
Garth Algar: Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket.
Honey HorneƩ: I'm gonna be frank.
Garth Algar: OK. Can I still be Garth?

Josef Grul: Hey, Jamaica! Watch out for Number Twelve turn. Scary, ja?
Derice Bannock: What's his problem?
Irv: He's Josef Grul. He's one of the best drivers in the world.
Yul Brenner: Yeah, he's one of the biggest assholes in the world, too.

Sister Mary Clarence: If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl.

Cindy: You are like wet sand in my underwear.
Jim: Ouch.

Bonnie: He's not afraid of losing. He's afraid of losing your love. How many ball players grow up afraid of losing their fathers' love every time they come up to the plate?
Fred: All of them.
Bonnie: He knows you disapprove of him. He knows you think he's weak. But he's not weak. He's decent. And if you or Bruce or anyone else tries to beat that out of him, I swear to God I'll take him away.

Michael Chapman: I turned Angela from a pickpocket into a star into a shoplifter.