Jack Slater: Sir, are you a henchman?
Benedict: No, I only go as far as lackey.
Jack Slater: Why am I wasting time with a dime-store putz like you when I could be doing something much more dangerous, like re-arranging my sock drawers?
Nick: There are lots of things worse than movies: politicians, wars, forest fires, famine, plague, sickness, pain, warts, politicians.
Jack Slater: You already mentioned them.
Nick: I know I did. They are twice as bad as anything else.
Danny Madigan: Say this.
Jack Slater: Hey, grow up.
Danny Madigan: Just say this one word.
Jack Slater: Is this another one of your movie proofs?
Danny Madigan: Maybe.
Jack Slater: Kid... I don't want to say it.
Danny Madigan: Say what? You can't. You can't possibly say it because this movie is PG-13. Admit it.
Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker: Sweetheart, wanna have a party?
Benedict: How old are you?
Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker: Forget it.
Jack Slater: Here's another explosion for your movie, kid.
Jack Slater: Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun.
Benedict: No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty.
Jack Slater: This hero stuff has its limits!
Benedict: Gentlemen! Since you're about to die anyway, I may as well tell you the entire plot. Think of villains, Jack. You want Dracula? Drac-oolah? Hang on, I'll fetch him! Dracula, ha! I can get King Kong! We'll have a nightmare with Freddy Krueger and a surprise party for Adolf Hitler. Hannibal Lector can do the catering. And then we'll all have a christening for Rosemary's Baby. All I have to do is snap my fingers and they'll be here! They're lining up to get here and do you know why, Jack? Shall I tell you why, hm? Because here, in this world, the bad guys can win! I shall miss you, Jack.
Jack Slater: And Whitney! Why can't she be like every other teenager. For prom night she stayed home and field stripped an AK-47.
John Practice: How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Jack Slater: By practice. John Practice.
Dekker: Slaaaaaaaaaaterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Danny Madigan: I mean, where are the ordinary everyday women? They don't exist because this is a movie.
Jack Slater: No, this is California.
Benedict: Here, in this world, the bad guys can win.
Whitney Slater: Freeze! Lose the guns or I redecorate in brain-matter grey, got it?
Jack Slater: I think the taxis are bulletproof.
Benedict: Take his shoes?
Tony Vivaldi: Where is it written that I am a bad guy?
Danny Madigan: What if staying in the car is what gets me killed?
Jack Slater: There's a gun in the glove compartment.
Answer: It's "What the Hell Have I?" by Alice in Chains. Megadeth's "Angry Again" is what is played for the opening credits of "Jack Slater IV."
Phaneron ★