Best comedy movie quotes of 2017

The Hitman's Bodyguard picture

Michael Bryce: This guy single-handedly ruined the word motherfucker.

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The Boss Baby picture

Boss Baby: I can't leave without you.
Tim: Yeah, we DO make a pretty good team.
Boss Baby: No really... I can't reach the doorknob.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales picture

Henry: I saw her ankles.
Captain Jack Sparrow: You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut.

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War Machine picture

Gen. Glen McMahon: God damn it, Pete. Why are you fat?

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Cars 3 picture

Natalie Certain: Storm's chances of winning are 95.2%.

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A Dog's Purpose picture

Bailey: So, in all my lives as a dog, here's what I've learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don't get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.

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Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie picture

Professor Poopypants: Hiyah class, I'm your cool new teacher, not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda.

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8

Coco (2017)

Coco picture

Clerk: I am terribly allergic.
Miguel: But Dante doesn't have any hair.
Clerk: And I don't have a nose, and yet, here we are.

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul picture

Susan Heffley: Greg Heflley! You're grounded for life.

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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle picture

Professor Shelly Oberon: Aren't you being judgmental about others, because you'd rather burn people than get burned yourself? I'm just saying, you're a babe, go with it.

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The Emoji Movie picture

Gene: Throw some sauce on that dance burrito.

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Smurfs: The Lost Village picture

Brainy Smurf: Hefty, bring me some firewood.
Hefty Smurf: A little "please" would be nice.
Brainy Smurf: Yes, it would, but I haven't got my politeness badge yet, so there you go.

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Paddington 2 picture

Henry Brown: Paddington wouldn't hesitate if any of us needed help! He looks for the good in all of us.

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Logan Lucky picture

Joe Bang: I am in-car-ce-ra-ted.

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Baywatch picture

Summer Quinn: And not a single fuck was given.

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Kingsman: The Golden Circle picture

Eggsy: We've got brains, skills, skipping rope?
Whiskey: It's a lasso.
Eggsy: Whatever.

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American Made picture

Barry Seal: The problem isn't the room. It's weight.

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Ferdinand picture

Lupe: I can't wait to show you to the rest of the guys! They're gonna fertilize the yard.

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The Death of Stalin picture

Vasily Stalin: I know the drill. Smile, shake hands and try not to call them cunts.

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A Bad Moms Christmas picture

Carla: Put a baby in me, Santa number two.

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Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri picture

Mildred Hayes: Hey fuckhead!
Dixon: What?
Desk Sergeant: Don't say what, Dixon, when she comes in calling you a "fuckhead."

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