Best comedy movie quotes of all time

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Movie Quote Quiz
The Family Man picture

Arnie: A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - forever.

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Where The Heart Is picture

Novalee Nation: What do you think? It took me a whole month to get back to my old size.
Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Oh, well, a little weight on a woman is no harm.

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Zombieland picture

[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.

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More Life quotes
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Seven Psychopaths picture

Hans: As Gandhi said...'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'. I believe that whole heartedly.
Bill: No it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy going to take out the eye of the last guy left whose still got one eye left? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Ghandi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come out and say it.

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Creepshow 2 picture

Hitchhiker: Thanks for the ride, lady.

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The Heat picture

Mullins: That cat took one look at your shitty shitty life, and said nooooo fucking thanks.

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Harlem Nights picture

Richie Vento: Yeah, get me Hollycourt 55377. Hello, it's Daddy. Hey, darling. Put Mommy on the phone. Yeah, Barbara, it's Richie. Yeah lookit, I ain't never coming home no more. Take it easy.

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Ted (2012)

Ted picture

Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.

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A Bad Moms Christmas picture

Carla: Since when did every woman in America need completely hairless vaginas on Christmas?

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Fright Night picture

Jerry: You bit off more then you can chew.
Ed: It's too late, man. I told people what you are. You've been made.
Jerry: And you think anyone's actually going to believe you?
Ed: No, No. Don't play that crap. Don't play that mind shit with me. I'm serious. Try me.
Jerry: Okay. You said you're glad you're different.
Ed: Get back!
Jerry: How can you be in a place like this? These people. Even your best friend did nothing to help.
Ed: No.
Jerry: You were born for this and you know it. It's a gift.
[Jerry bites Ed.]

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Mary Poppins picture

Bert: Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?

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The Holiday picture

Arthur Abbott: Iris, in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend.

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Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure picture

Abraham Lincoln: Fourscore and...[looks at his pocket watch]...seven minutes ago... We, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill...and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other. And... Party on, dudes!

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Peter Rabbit picture

Rooster: The sun came up again? I can't believe it! I thought when I closed my eyes last night, that that was it! But we have another day of this.

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The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part picture

Wyldstyle: You are not our leader.
Batman: How many movies are made about you? None. I have nine movies, and three more currently in development.

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Three Amigos picture

Mexican girl: Which one do you like?
Carmen: I like the one that's not so smart.
Mexican girl: Which one is that?

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29th Street picture

Frank Pesce Jr.: I wanna do something I never did before.
Frank Pesce Sr.: Oh really, then why don't you go upstairs and clean your fucking room.

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