Trapper John: Well, you know, Man o' War, after they retired him from racing, they put him out to stud. And he had an average of about a hundred and twenty, a hundred and thirty foals a year, and he lived to be thirty-six. And then when he died, they did an autopsy, and they found out that he was a raving queen.
Duke Forrest: Dammit, Henry, Frank Burns is a menace! Every time a patient croaks on him he says it's "God's will" or somebody else's fault.
Hawkeye Pierce: Yeah, and this time he blamed it on some kid who was stupid enough to belive him.
P.A. Announcer: Attention. Attention. All non-commission off - -Attention, all non-commissioned officers will report for short-arm inspection at 0400. That is all.
Cheerleaders: Sixty-nine, is divine. Sixty-nine, is divine.
P.A. Announcer: Attention, all base members must report for a drug test for marij - marijua-... disregard last transmission.
Hawkeye Pierce: It's a good thing you have a nice body, nurse, otherwise they'd get rid of you quick.
P.A. Announcer: Attention. Due to a possible camp infection, Arlene Chu's Hollywood Grill is off limits. That is all.
Capt. 'Ugly John' Black: Anybody know if this is an officer or an enlisted man?
Hawkeye Pierce: He's an enlisted man.
Capt. 'Ugly John' Black: Make the stitches bigger.
