Best comedy movie quotes of all time

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation picture

Clark Griswold: [reciting 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.] When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and...and Eddie with a man in his pajamas and a dog chain tied to his wrist and ankles. What the...?

Bishop73

More National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quotes
This Is the End picture

Jonah Hill: Dear God, it's me, Jonah Hill... From Moneyball.

More This Is the End quotes
Animal House picture

Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

More Animal House quotes
The Dirt picture

Doc McGhee: I have managed the Scorpions, Bon Jovi, Skid Row, kiss. I had been dragged through the deepest shit with all kinds of mentally ill people. But I have never been through what Mötley Crüe put me through.

More The Dirt quotes
Around the World in 80 Days picture

Passepartout: I'm your new valet.
Phileas Fogg: Uh... I must commend the valet service on their impeccable foresight. But they know I only accept French valets.
Passepartout: Yes. Oh! Oui! Oui! I come from a long line of French valets. On my father's side. Very, very French.
Phileas Fogg: But your accent.
Passepartout: My father French. Never speak. My mother Chinese and never shuts up. All the children pick up her accent.

More Around the World in 80 Days quotes
Pitch Perfect picture

Aubrey: What's your name?
Fat Amy: Fat Amy.
Aubrey: You call yourself Fat Amy?
Fat Amy: Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back.

More Pitch Perfect quotes
The Mummy picture

Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.

More The Mummy quotes
More Lady Bird quotes
The Quiet Man picture

Michaleen Flynn: None 'o that now, none 'o that. It's a bold sinful man y'are Sean Thornton. And who taught you to be playin' patty-fingers in the Holy Water?
Thornton: Just bein' polite, is all.

More The Quiet Man quotes
More Shrek Forever After quotes
Red 2 picture

Marvin: If there's one thing I know, it's women and covert operations.
Frank: Marvin, that's two things.
Han Cho Bai: No, grasshopper. It is not.

More Red 2 quotes
Good Morning, Vietnam picture

Adrian Cronauer: You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.

More Good Morning, Vietnam quotes
Sister Act picture

Reverend Mother: Girl groups? Boogie-Woogie on the piano? What were you thinking?
Dolores: I was thinking more like Vegas, you know? Get some butts in the seats.

More Sister Act quotes
Better Off Dead picture

Lane Myer: Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.

More Better Off Dead quotes
More Bee Movie quotes
High School Musical 3: Senior Year picture

Troy Bolton: East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brulee, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor. It's a place where one person, if it's the right person, changes us all. East High is having friends we'll keep for the rest of our lives, and that means we really are 'all in this together'. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat!

More High School Musical 3: Senior Year quotes
More Paul Blart: Mall Cop quotes
More Ocean's Eleven quotes
Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult picture

Frank Drebin: Hey, Rocco. Who's the old bag? She take one in the face?
Rocco: She's my mother.
Frank Drebin: Oh. Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. You must be very proud of him.
Mrs. Dillon: I am.

More Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult quotes
American Pie picture

Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.

More American Pie quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.