Uncle Buck

Uncle Buck (1989)

11 quotes

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Buck: What time do you want me to pick you up after school?
Tia: Don't bother! I'll get a ride with friends.
Buck: No, I have my orders. What time?
Tia: Are you really this stupid? I said I would get a ride. I always get a ride.
Buck: Hey, I'll just call the school, find out what time, and meet you right here.
Tia: Go ahead, call the school. I won't be here.
Buck: Stand me up today, and tomorrow I'll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas and WALK you to your first class. 4:00 okay?

Buck: Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes.
Cindy Russell: Oh, good.
Buck: Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum.

Miles: Where do you live?
Buck: In the city.
Miles: You have a house?
Buck: Apartment.
Miles: Own or rent?
Buck: Rent.
Miles: What do you do for a living?
Buck: Lots of things.
Miles: Where's your office?
Buck: I don't have one.
Miles: How come?
Buck: I don't need one.
Miles: Where's your wife?
Buck: Don't have one.
Miles: How come?
Buck: It's a long story.
Miles: You have kids?
Buck: No I don't.
Miles: How come?
Buck: It's an even longer story.
Miles: Are you my Dad's brother?
Buck: What's your record for consecutive questions asked?
Miles: 38.
Buck: I'm your Dad's brother all right.
Miles: You have much more hair in your nose than my Dad.
Buck: How nice of you to notice.
Miles: I'm a kid - that's my job.

Uncle Buck: We've done the battle of the wills. The deck's stacked in my favor. You're just going to lose again.
Tia Russell: Try me.
Uncle Buck: How'd you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out of work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep? See you in the car.

Bishop73

Tia Russell: Are you crazy?
Buck Russell: I can be.
Tia Russell: You could have taken his head off!
Buck Russell: Yeah, but would he notice?

Tia: Uncle Buck?
Buck: Yeah?
Tia: Got a minute?
Buck: I got lots of minutes.
Tia: Now that everything's okay with my grandfather, I want to go out tomorrow night.
Buck: You can go crazy after I leave. Until then, I'm not letting you out.
Tia: You just can't find any way to be cool can you?
Buck: You mean easy? No.
Tia: I mean decent!
Buck: You mean blind!
Tia: Who are you trying to score points with? My parents? How many times have they had you over here since we moved? Try none until they went up Shit Creek and got stuck!
Buck: Get used on your parents' time.

Marcie Dahlgren-Frost: Marcie Dahlgren-Frost. Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to lose the Frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen.

Uncle Buck: I know a good kid when I see one, Because they're all good kids, until dried-out, brain dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good, You so much as scowl at my niece or any other kid in this school and I hear about it I'm coming looking for you. Take this quarter, Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face. Good day to you, madam.

ThisRaines

Buck Russell: I, I, I'm real sorry about those bushes too. I had no idea that they would all catch on fire like that and you were right. I should have never put the BBQ that close.

Bishop73

Buck Russell: How many times a day does the dog eat?
Cindy Russell: How many times do you think?
Buck Russell: I don't know, four or five.
Cindy Russell: He eats once a day.

Tia: Hey, Mom. Next time you take off in the middle of the night, why don't you hire a murderer to watch the house?

Uncle Buck mistake picture

Continuity mistake: In the bowling alley, 'Pal' comes over to speak to Tia. During their conversation, the camera pans to Maisie throwing a bowling ball; however Tia is now sitting alone. Pal has disappeared. (00:40:10)

Gary Robertson
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Trivia: The scene where Macaulay Culkin was waiting at the door for the babysitter and imagined the three burglars was the scene that inspired the box-office hit, Home Alone. (01:16:10)

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