Best comedy movie quotes of 1983

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Movie Quote Quiz
Superman III picture

Ross Webster: Congratulations, Gus, old buddy. You're going to go down in history as the man who killed Superman.

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A Christmas Story picture

Mom: Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?
Adult Ralphie: Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out.
Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle.
Mom: No. You'll shoot your eye out.

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National Lampoon's Vacation picture

Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

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The Big Chill picture

Michael: [At the wake.] Great tradition! They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come!

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Local Hero picture

Townsman: I thought all this money would make me feel different.

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Risky Business picture

Jackie: Hello, Joel. I'm Jackie.
Joel Goodson: Hello, Jackie. I'm not Joel. Joel stepped out for a moment. Hold on... I'll go call him.

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Terms of Endearment picture

Aurora Greenway: Not that it's any of your business... Oh, let's just leave it at that.

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Trading Places picture

Louis Winthorpe III: I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no-one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me, and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro.

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Valley Girl picture

Fred Bailey: So, you wanna dance?
Girl: In another life.
Fred Bailey: Yeah, I didn't either. I was just taking a poll.

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The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew picture

Bob McKenzie: I gotta take a leak so bad I can taste it.

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The Man with Two Brains picture

Little Girl: Sounds like a subdural hematoma to me.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Oh, it does, does it? Well, it's not your job to diagnose.
Little Girl: But I thought.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You thought, you thought. Just go. Three years of nursery school and you think you know it all. Well, you're still wet behind the ears. It's not a subdural hematoma. It's epidural. Ha.

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Yellowbeard picture

Yellowbeard: Dying's the easy way out. You won't catch me dying. They'll have to kill me before I die.

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The Survivors picture

Donald: Well, I was nervous.
Jack: What about me?
Donald: Oh, come off it, man. You're so cool, you piss ice cubes.
Jack: It's a hereditary thing in my family, y'know. Uhh, nerves, colitis, y'know.
Donald: Colitis? Y'know, that must be horrible being a professional killer with colitis.
Jack: Yeah, that's what.
Donald: They hear you coming, don't they?

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The Meaning of Life picture

Grim Reaper: Englishmen, you're all so fucking pompous. None of you have got any balls.

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Mr. Mom picture

Humphries: All of us here at Schooner Tuna sympathize with all of you hit so hard by these trying economic times. In order to help you, we are reducing the price of Schooner Tuna by 50 cents a can. When this crisis is over, we will go back to our regular prices. Until then, remember, we're all in this together. Schooner Tuna. The tuna with a heart.

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Smokey and the Bandit III picture

Little Enos: I'd like to kick your ass.
Buford T. Justice: You can't kick that high, cricket crotch.

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Project A picture

Captain Chi: Who is laughing like that?
Jaws: Me, sir.
Captain Chi: Do you know what you're going to do?
Jaws: To laugh one thousand times?
Captain Chi: Police, shoot him dead.

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Educating Rita picture

Rita's Father: Say, Denny. Denny, I'm sorry for you, lad. If she was a wife of mine I'd drown her.
Rita: If I was a wife of yours I'd drown meself.

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Still Smokin' picture

Chong: You know I could be your daddy.
Cheech: You could be my daddy, man?
Chong: Yeah, I used to fuck buffalo.

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Stroker Ace picture

Man in Bar: Come on, damnit, we wanna hear a cluck.
Stroker Ace: Who gives a cluck?

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