Best comedy movie quotes of 1983

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Movie Quote Quiz
Superman III picture

Ross Webster: Congratulations, Gus, old buddy. You're going to go down in history as the man who killed Superman.

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The Big Chill picture

Michael: [At the wake.] Great tradition! They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come!

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A Christmas Story picture

Mom: Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?
Adult Ralphie: Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out.
Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle.
Mom: No. You'll shoot your eye out.

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National Lampoon's Vacation picture

Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

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Local Hero picture

Mac: Whose baby?

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Risky Business picture

Joel's Father: Sometimes you just gotta say "what the heck."

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Terms of Endearment picture

Emma Horton: Momma, that's the first time I stopped hugging first. I like that.

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Valley Girl picture

Randy: All right, but when they attack the car, save the radio.

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Never Say Never Again picture

Q: Welcome back, Mr. Bond. I trust there will be lots of gratuitous sex and violence occurring.

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The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew picture

Gertrude: We'll always have our memories. The Colonel's dead. Here we are still enjoying his chicken.

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The Man with Two Brains picture

Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Would you read that back to me? I'm afraid that might make me sound pompous to your readers.
Olsen: 'My brilliant research in brain transplantation is unsurpassed, and will probably make my name live beyond eternity'.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Well, that's all right. Take out the 'probably'. It makes me sound wishy-washy.

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Yellowbeard picture

Betty: It's about your father.
Dan: What about him?
Betty: When I said he was dead, I was only trying to cushion the blow.

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Trading Places picture

Mortimer Duke: This is an outrage! I demand an investigation! You can't sell our seats! A Duke has been sitting on this exchange since it was founded! WE founded this exchange! IT'S ours! IT belongs to US.

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The Survivors picture

Donald: Well, I was nervous.
Jack: What about me?
Donald: Oh, come off it, man. You're so cool, you piss ice cubes.
Jack: It's a hereditary thing in my family, y'know. Uhh, nerves, colitis, y'know.
Donald: Colitis? Y'know, that must be horrible being a professional killer with colitis.
Jack: Yeah, that's what.
Donald: They hear you coming, don't they?

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The Meaning of Life picture

Grim Reaper: Englishmen, you're all so fucking pompous. None of you have got any balls.

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Mr. Mom picture

Humphries: All of us here at Schooner Tuna sympathize with all of you hit so hard by these trying economic times. In order to help you, we are reducing the price of Schooner Tuna by 50 cents a can. When this crisis is over, we will go back to our regular prices. Until then, remember, we're all in this together. Schooner Tuna. The tuna with a heart.

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Smokey and the Bandit III picture

Little Enos: I'd like to kick your ass.
Buford T. Justice: You can't kick that high, cricket crotch.

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Project A picture

Captain Chi: Who is laughing like that?
Jaws: Me, sir.
Captain Chi: Do you know what you're going to do?
Jaws: To laugh one thousand times?
Captain Chi: Police, shoot him dead.

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Educating Rita picture

Rita's Father: Say, Denny. Denny, I'm sorry for you, lad. If she was a wife of mine I'd drown her.
Rita: If I was a wife of yours I'd drown meself.

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Still Smokin' picture

Chong: You know I could be your daddy.
Cheech: You could be my daddy, man?
Chong: Yeah, I used to fuck buffalo.

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