Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.
Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... It's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... Just... Moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Gary King: Why don't you just get back in your rocket, and fuck off back to Legoland, you cunts!
Biff: Look, Lorraine, you walk out that door and I won't only cut off you, I'll cut off your kids.
Lorraine: You wouldn't!?
Biff: Oh, wouldn't I? First your daughter, Linda. I'll cancel all her credit cards. She can settle her debts with the bank all by herself. Your idiot son, Dave. I'll get his probation revoked. And as for Marty. Well, maybe you liked to have all three of your kids behind bars just like your brother Joey. One big happy jailbird family.
Secretary: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
Forrest Gump: Bit me directly in the but-tocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the Army must keep that money, 'cause I still ain't seen a nickel of that million dollars.
Dale Doback: Oprah, Barbra Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, go!
Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here *alone*? I don't think so.