Best comedy movie quotes of all time

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Movie Quote Quiz
Home Alone picture

Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here *alone*? I don't think so.

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Superbad picture

Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.

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Spy (2015)

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Dark Shadows picture

Barnabas Collins: What is your age?
Carolyn Stoddard: Fifteen.
Barnabas Collins: Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those child-bearing hips to good use, lest your womb shrivel up and die.

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Scott Pilgrim vs. the World picture

Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

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Back to the Future Part II picture

Biff: Look, Lorraine, you walk out that door and I won't only cut off you, I'll cut off your kids.
Lorraine: You wouldn't!?
Biff: Oh, wouldn't I? First your daughter, Linda. I'll cancel all her credit cards. She can settle her debts with the bank all by herself. Your idiot son, Dave. I'll get his probation revoked. And as for Marty. Well, maybe you liked to have all three of your kids behind bars just like your brother Joey. One big happy jailbird family.

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The World's End picture

Gary King: Why don't you just get back in your rocket, and fuck off back to Legoland, you cunts!

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The Sandlot picture

Hamm: Hey, do you want a S'more?
Scotty: Some more what?
Hamm: No, no. Do you want a S'more?
Scotty: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Hamm: You're killing me Smalls.

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The Ballad of Buster Scruggs picture

Buster Scruggs: Misanthrope? I don't hate my fellow man, even when he's tiresome and surly and tries to cheat at poker. I figure that's just a human material, and him that finds in it cause for anger and dismay is just a fool for expecting better.

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The Big Lebowski picture

Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.

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Bad Boys II picture

Mike Lowrey: We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.

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Ferris Bueller's Day Off picture

Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

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Megamind picture

Megamind: You dare challenge Megamind?
Titan: This town isn't big enough for two super-villians.
Megamind: Oh, you're a villain all right. Just not a super one.
Titan: Yeah? What's the difference?
Megamind: PRESENTATION!

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Mean Girls picture

Regina: I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... So, just promise me you won't make fun of her! (00:01:00)

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Spaceballs picture

Computer: This ship will self-destruct in exactly ten seconds. Counting down. Ten, nine, eight, six.
President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?
Computer: Just kidding.

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As Good As It Gets picture

Secretary: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

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