Best comedy movie quotes of 1982

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Movie Quote Quiz
Grease 2 picture

Principal Mcgee: If you play an instrument, remember, it is better to play with a group then with yourself.

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Porky's picture

Wendy: Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?
Meat: Practically everybody in town from what I hear.

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Airplane II: The Sequel picture

Clerk: Do you swear on the Constitution of the United States to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Jive Man: Ain't no thing.
Defense Attorney: Would you describe, in your own words, what happened that night?
Jive Man: Check it, bleed. Bro was on! Didn't trip. But the folks was freakin', man. Hey, and the pilots were laid to the bones, Homes. So Blood hammered out and jammed jet ship. Tightened that bad sucker inside the runway like a mother. Shit.

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The Toy picture

U.S. Bates: I only get Eric for a week each year.
Jack Brown: Then you should get better lawyers, you shouldn't have to have him that long.
U.S. Bates: It just so happens I love him.
Jack Brown: Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn.

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Victor/Victoria picture

'Squash' Bernstein: Apparently the mob doesn't find homosexuality to be an acceptable lifestyle.
Toddy: Kill him, but mustn't kiss him.

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The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas picture

Ed Earl: Boys, I got myself a pretty good bullshit detector, and I can tell when somebody's peeing on my boots and telling me it's a rainstorm.

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Night Shift picture

Chuck: Bill, let me try to explain this to you. As we sit here and idly chat, there are women, female human beings, rolling around in strange beds with strange men and we are making money from that.
Bill: Is this a great country or what?!

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Tootsie picture

Ron Carlisle: Take, Tootsie.
Dorothy Michaels: Ron? I have a name it's Dorothy. It's not Tootsie or Toots or Sweetie or Honey or Doll.
Ron Carlisle: Oh, Christ.
Dorothy Michaels: No, just Dorothy. Alan's always Alan, Tom's always Tom and John's always John. I have a name too. It's Dorothy, capital D-O-R-O-T-H-Y.

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Trail of the Pink Panther picture

Deputy Comissioner Lasorde: Read this most carefully and give me your opinion.
Insp. Jacques Clouseau: I will read my opinion and give you yours most carefully.

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48 Hrs. picture

Reggie: There's a new sheriff in town. And, his name is Reggie Hammond.

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The World According to Garp picture

Jenny Fields: You know, everybody dies. My parents died. Your father died. Everybody dies. I'm going to die too. So will you. The thing is, to have a life before we die. It can be a real adventure having a life.

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Creepshow picture

Wilma Northrup: Now get out of my way, Henry, or I swear to God you'll be wearing your balls for earrings.

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The Slumber Party Massacre picture

Mrs. Devereaux: You lock all the doors and windows.
Trish: Mom, I'm eighteen years old, remember?
Mrs. Devereaux: You will always be my baby.

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The Last American Virgin picture

David: What are you doing there, Victor?
Victor: Buzz off blimp.
Gary: Come on guys. There's probably nothing there to see anyway.
Victor: Oh yeah? I bet you guys wish you had what I have.

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Deathtrap picture

Sidney Bruhl: Every time I come in this bloody house, you scream.

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Summer Lovers picture

Lina: Jealousy doesn't show how much you love someone, it shows how insecure you are.

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Diner picture

Modell: You know what word I'm not comfortable with? Nuance. It's not a real word. Like gesture. Gesture's a real word. With gesture you know where you stand. But nuance? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.

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The Draughtsman's Contract picture

Mrs. Talmann: When your speech is as coarse as your face, Louis, then you sound as impotent by day as you perform by night.

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The King of Comedy picture

Secretary: Is Mr. Langford expecting you?
Rupert Pupkin: Yes, I don't think he is.

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