Best comedy movie quotes of 2009

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Movie Quote Quiz
He's Just Not That Into You picture

Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... It's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... Just... Moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

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Madea Goes to Jail picture

Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yeah but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yeah but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.

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500 Days of Summer picture

Rachel Hansen: Just some guy she met at the gym with Brad Pitt's face and Jesus' abs.

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Hannah Montana: The Movie picture

Hannah Montana: In my defense, I totally saw those shoes first.

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The Hangover picture

Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... Or a Chuck E. Cheese.

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17 Again picture

Ned: It's a classic transformation story. Are you now, or have you ever been, a Norse god, vampire, or time-traveling cyborg?
Mike: I've know you since what, first grade? I think that maybe I would have told you!
Ned: Vampire wouldn't tell. Cyborg wouldn't know.

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Zombieland picture

[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.

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In the Loop picture

Malcolm Tucker: Fuckety-bye-bye then!

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The Proposal picture

Margaret Tate: Why didn't you tell me you're some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?
Andrew Paxton: We were in the middle of talking about you... For the last 3 years.

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The Pink Panther 2 picture

Inspector Clouseau: Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing. You are now up to speed.

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Year One picture

Oh: I'm a virgin by choice.
Zed: Ha. Not your choice!

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The Invention of Lying picture

Anna McDoogles: I was just masturbating.
Mark Bellison: That... Makes me think of your vagina.

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Black Dynamite picture

Black Dynamite: Lemme speak to the man in charge.
Militant 2: Sarcastically, I'm in charge.

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Paul Blart: Mall Cop picture

Paul Blart: Safety never takes a holiday.

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The Boat That Rocked picture

Angus: What about this? What about this situation right here? Can't fuck your way out of this one, can you Mark?

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Up in the Air picture

Ryan Bingham: If you think about it, your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life... Were you alone? Life's better with company.

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Land of the Lost picture

Dr. Rick Marshall: If you don't make it, it's your own damn "vault." That's a bitch slap of truth right there.

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Jennifer's Body picture

Jennifer Check: I am scrumptious!

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The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard picture

Babs Merrick: If he pulls this one off, I'll eat my own pussy.

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The Informant! picture

Mark Whitacre: Paranoid is what they call you when they want you to drop your guard.

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