Best comedy movie quotes of 2009

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Movie Quote Quiz
He's Just Not That Into You picture

Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... It's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... Just... Moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

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17 Again picture

Principal Jane Masterson: You can plunder my dungeon anytime.
Ned Gold: I'll bring my longbow.

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More Paul Blart: Mall Cop quotes
Madea Goes to Jail picture

Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yeah but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yeah but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.

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More Race to Witch Mountain quotes
The Proposal picture

Margaret Tate: If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?

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Zombieland picture

[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.

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500 Days of Summer picture

Rachel Hansen: PMS?
Tom: What do you know about PMS?
Rachel Hansen: More than you, Tom.

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More Hannah Montana: The Movie quotes
More Bring It On: Fight to the Finish quotes
More The Hangover quotes
Fired Up! picture

Nick Brady: Dude, I think our bus crashed and we went to heaven.
Shawn Colfax: No... If we had, we'd have heard "We are crashing, we we are crashing."

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Black Dynamite picture

Bullhorn: You know he came around here about a week ago, with some cats that I had never seen before. Man I mean these cats looked mean! Meaner than two fat motherfuckers wrestling over pork chops greens, can you dig it?

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Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel picture

Alvin: Don't worry about picking us up after school, Toby. We'll catch a ride - IN A HEARSE!

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The Pink Panther 2 picture

Inspector Clouseau: Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing. You are now up to speed.

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In the Loop picture

Malcolm Tucker: This is the minister of international development here, he should be talking about... Food parcels...not fucking...arse-spraying mayhem!

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The Informant! picture

Mark Whitacre: Paranoid is what they call you when they want you to drop your guard.

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Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs picture

Sid: I say "they're vegetarians, " you say "grrr." I say "can we talk about this?" you say "grrr." I don't call that good communication.
Momma: Grrrrrrr.

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Year One picture

Oh: I'm a virgin by choice.
Zed: Ha. Not your choice!

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Ghosts of Girlfriends Past picture

Connor Mead: Love is magic comfort food for the weak and uneducated!

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