Best comedy movie quotes of 2009

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Movie Quote Quiz
He's Just Not That Into You picture

Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... It's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... Just... Moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

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Madea Goes to Jail picture

Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yeah but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yeah but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.

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500 Days of Summer picture

Rachel Hansen: Just some guy she met at the gym with Brad Pitt's face and Jesus' abs.

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Hannah Montana: The Movie picture

Travis Brody: You and Miley pretty close?
Hannah Montana: You have no idea.

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The Hangover picture

Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... Or a Chuck E. Cheese.

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17 Again picture

Principal Jane Masterson: You can plunder my dungeon anytime.
Ned Gold: I'll bring my longbow.

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Zombieland picture

[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.

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The Proposal picture

Margaret Tate: I can't swim!
Andrew Paxton: Hence...the boat.

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The Pink Panther 2 picture

Inspector Clouseau: Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing. You are now up to speed.

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Year One picture

Oh: I'm a virgin by choice.
Zed: Ha. Not your choice!

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The Invention of Lying picture

Anna McDoogles: I was just masturbating.
Mark Bellison: That... Makes me think of your vagina.

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Black Dynamite picture

Black Dynamite: Lemme speak to the man in charge.
Militant 2: Sarcastically, I'm in charge.

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Paul Blart: Mall Cop picture

Paul Blart: Safety never takes a holiday.

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In the Loop picture

Malcolm Tucker: Fuckety-bye-bye then!

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Race to Witch Mountain picture

Jack Bruno: You do know how to fly this thing, right?
Tony: How do you think we got here?
Jack Bruno: Well, you crashed. Remember?

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Up in the Air picture

Natalie Keener: He broke up with me by text message.
Ryan Bingham: Wow. That's kind of like getting fired over the Internet.

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Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs picture

Sid: I say "they're vegetarians, " you say "grrr." I say "can we talk about this?" you say "grrr." I don't call that good communication.
Momma: Grrrrrrr.

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Get Low picture

Felix Bush: There are a whole lot of things you don't know. Like what a, ya know, a dog dreams. You can make up a story about him chasing rabbits. But you don't know if there's rabbits in there or not. And he can't tell you now, can he? People don't say what they mean, either, so you don't know anymore about them than you do about that dog's dream.

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I Love You, Man picture

Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Klaven: Oh come on!

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Fired Up! picture

Nick Brady: Dude, I think our bus crashed and we went to heaven.
Shawn Colfax: No... If we had, we'd have heard "We are crashing, we we are crashing."

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