Philip J. Fry: Bite my shiny metal hat!
Irv: I'm not a god. That's just a rumor my mother started.
Therapist: It's like a little kid gets a puppy for the first time, just hugs it so much, snaps its neck. It's puppy cradle death syndrome. All that love is gonna snap that puppy.
Eric: I am not a man... I am Cantona.
Beckett: Babies like to breathe, and they're good at hiding it. I put a pillow over a baby. I thought she wasn't breathing, but she was. She was sneaky, but I'll try again.
Viraj Shergill: During surgery, I want to go back to Punjab, Take me to Punjab, I want my mother, I want my lawyer, he works in a laundry.
Viraj Shergill: About to be operated on, Are you making a hole to dubai.
Will Burton: So, how big is this whole bandslam thing around here?
Sa5m: Texas high school football big.
Mary Horowitz: It's like taking 10 friends on a camping trip.
Wes Wilson: I'll put in my next book. How does that sound?
Isaac: Like having my balls licked by a porcupine.
Oliver: Wow, from here it kinda looks like you're wearing a stryper T-shirt.
Bliss Cavendar: Stryper? Yeah, 80's christian heavy metal. I mean in the name of jesus we rock.