Best comedy movie quotes of 2009

Bruno: How do you defend yourself against a man with a dildo?

Javier: Much has been written about the art of bullfighting, but I can sum it up in one sentence: get out of the way of the bull, you idiot! Otherwise he will rip open your anus like it was a cheap velcro wallet.

Rob's Mom: Rob? I-I wanna have a little chat with you,.
Rob: Uhh, do we have to?
Rob's Mom: I found this sock? In-in the laundry.
Rob: Oh jeez, Mom put that away.

Suzie: Who'd you want to have an affair with, anyway?
Joel: Just some criminal drifter.

The Wanderer: Believe me when I say this, these were some evil sons of bitches.

Teddy: Man, this whole town is dead.
Mia: Oh my God. Maybe this is like "The Sixth Sense" and we're the ones who are really dead.
Nadine: You know what, Mia? I've been holding something back all night, so I'm gonna go ahead and say it now: That doesn't make any sense, you stupid bitch.

Philip J. Fry: Bite my shiny metal hat!

Tommy Frigo: Don't get all drunk and fall asleep.
James Brennan: Why?
Tommy Frigo: 'Cause i'll jack off on your face.

David Santiago: What you do with your life is, really just one half of the equation. The other half, the more important half, really is, who you're with when you're doing it.

Banksy: It could be worse.
Neil: How many fingers am I holding up?
Banksy: Uh.
Neil: How could this get any worse?

Fletch: Hahahahahahahaha! It's got a big metal cock for a handle.

Wes Wilson: I'll put in my next book. How does that sound?
Isaac: Like having my balls licked by a porcupine.

Mary Horowitz: It's like taking 10 friends on a camping trip.