Best comedy movie quotes of 2009

Javier: Much has been written about the art of bullfighting, but I can sum it up in one sentence: get out of the way of the bull, you idiot! Otherwise he will rip open your anus like it was a cheap velcro wallet.

Vince Rizzo: Did you sleep outside last night?
Vince Jr.: No, no, no. I did heroin with a bunch of prostitutes at the Plaza Hotel. I'm thinking of becoming a pimp.
Vince Rizzo: Good. I'll see you later.

Steve Jones: I want you to come join me in the real world.
Kate Jones: This is my real world.

Rose: It's funny because yesterday I couldn't wait to get away and now I never want to leave.
Tony: What happened in between?
Rose: Just enough.

Sadie - age 9: Aram! Aram.
Frank Jr. - age 7: Mom is dead.
Aram Finklestein: What?
Frank Jr. - age 7: Come on.
Aram Finklestein: She's not dead.
Sadie - age 9: Could be post-mortem twitch.

Louise: A relationship ending is like a death just two people know about. A whole life gets lost, everything we did together. All the places we traveled, the fights, the small moments of tenderness.

Michael McCrea: You off the drink?
Jim McCrea: Just have a yen for some java, man.

Teddy: Man, this whole town is dead.
Mia: Oh my God. Maybe this is like "The Sixth Sense" and we're the ones who are really dead.
Nadine: You know what, Mia? I've been holding something back all night, so I'm gonna go ahead and say it now: That doesn't make any sense, you stupid bitch.

Duncan: Looks like we've got a long night of cocaine ahead of us.

Pug Rothbaum: I'd like everybody in the world to call me a cocksucker and give me a dollar. Because that way I'd be rich and everybody'd love me.

Eddy: Everyone loves us! We're finally in, baby.
Edd: And it took 130 episodes, 4 specials, and a movie, Eddy.

Tod: Mr. E, I talked to the lawyer guy upstairs and he confirmed my hunch, uh, about the whole stabbing of Mr. Whitefeather thing. It's a definite no can do from a legal standpoint.

Abby Richter: My cat stepped on the remote.
Mike: Well, be sure to thank your pussy for me.

The Wanderer: Believe me when I say this, these were some evil sons of bitches.

Dr. Lars: It's too early to know who's winning the fight: the medicine or the disease.
George Simmons: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George Simmons: And I enjoy all of your movies.
Dr. Lars: Which movies?
George Simmons: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.

Tommy Frigo: Don't get all drunk and fall asleep.
James Brennan: Why?
Tommy Frigo: 'Cause i'll jack off on your face.

Horsedick.MPEG: When you give something to a bitch, they don't do nothin' but take. That's why I don't give 'em nothin' but the dick. 'Cause they can't take that away. You'll see. Tomorrow at the mansion I'ma run the train on seven, eight, nine, eleven o' them honeys! Ain't a Playmate there I ain't tagged yet.

Ronnie Barnhardt: The world has no use for another scared man. Right now, the world needs a fucking hero.

Fletch: Hahahahahahahaha! It's got a big metal cock for a handle.

Bruno: How do you defend yourself against a man with a dildo?