Nick Brady: Dude, I think our bus crashed and we went to heaven.
Shawn Colfax: No... If we had, we'd have heard "We are crashing, we we are crashing."
Nick Brady: Bottomless breadsticks only keep you at the Olive Garden for so long, until at some point you look up and say 'Why the hell am I at the Olive Garden with all these fat people?'.
Nick Brady: Hiya Dick.
Dr. Rick: It's Rick!
Nick Brady: Ah, sorry, I don't know why I keep doing that. You just look like such a Dick to me.
Shawn Colfax: You gotta risk it for the biscuit!
Carly: [introducing her boyfriend.] He's Pre-med at Illinois.
Shawn Colfax: Then why do you call yourself doctor?
Dr. Rick: Why put off the inevitable?
Shaun Colfax: Well to make an omelette you got to break some eggs... Great a litte cheese... Slice up some mushrooms real thin... Don't over beat the egg.
