Best comedy movie quotes of all time

Robbie: I wrote a song about you.
Georgia Nicolson: Really?!
Robbie: Yeah. It's called "Bitch in Uniform."

Allison: The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.

Jerry Dandrige: Welcome to Fright Night...for real.

Boring Prophet: There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment. At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.

Volleyball Girl: You weren't at the party last night. Where were you?
Carrie: Well, it's totally on the DL. I mean, not fit to print. I'm dating... John Tucker.

Franco: Remember the first rule of Italian driving. [Pulls the rearview mirror off and throws it over his shoulder.]. What's behind me is not important.

Gloria Cleary: Don't ever leave me!
Jeremy Grey: Ever.
Gloria Cleary: Good. 'Cause I'd find you!

Winnie The Pooh: It's called "Say What You See." You, first, Eeyore.
Eeyore: Disgrace. Shame. Humiliation.
Winnie The Pooh: Well, that's one way to play it.

Nick Rivers: Hillary. That's an unusual name.
Hillary Flammond: It's a German name. It means 'she whose bosoms defy gravity'.
Nick Rivers: I'm pleased to meet you. My name's Nick.
Hillary Flammond: Nick? What does that mean?
Nick Rivers: Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.

Strip Club Manager: I need a lap dance, table 5. Don’t get too close, the guy smells like asparagus pee and he’s got a hook hand.

Sam: We're supposed to be conserving water, we're in the middle of a drought.
Fiona: Droughts are for poor people. Do you think J.Lo has a brown lawn? People who use extra water have extra class!

Harry Burns: How long do you like to be held after sex? All night, right? See, that's your problem. Somewhere between 30 seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally Albright: I don't have a problem.
Harry Burns: Yes, you do.

Hannah Montana: In my defense, I totally saw those shoes first.

Gwen Grayson: I went through puberty twice for this?!

Kate McCallister: What kind of idiots do you have working here?
Desk Clerk: The finest in New York.

Father of the Groom: Now now, let's not bicker and argue about who killed who, this is supposed to be a happy occasion!

Ivana Humpalot: My name is Ivana. Ivana Humpalot.
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Ivana Humpalot: Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: And I want a toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now, is it?

Jennifer: Excuse me, Doc Brown. I brought this message back from the future and, well, now it's erased.
Doc: Of course it's erased.
Jennifer: But what does that mean?
Doc: It means your futures haven't been written yet. No one's has. Your future is what ever you make. So make it a good one, the both of you.

Troy Bolton: East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brulee, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor. It's a place where one person, if it's the right person, changes us all. East High is having friends we'll keep for the rest of our lives, and that means we really are 'all in this together'. Once a Wildcat, always a Wildcat!

Mindy Macready: You don't have to be a bad-ass to be a superhero. You just have to be brave.