Best comedy movie quotes of all time

Aubrey: What's your name?
Fat Amy: Fat Amy.
Aubrey: You call yourself Fat Amy?
Fat Amy: Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back.

Sonny: Everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, then it is not yet the end.

Hamm: Hey, do you want a S'more?
Scotty: Some more what?
Hamm: No, no. Do you want a S'more?
Scotty: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Hamm: You're killing me Smalls.

Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy: Well, mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner.

Jerry Dandrige: Welcome to Fright Night...for real.

Hoagie: Someone once said we don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. When you're a kid, you can't imagine having any other group of friends. You think you're going to be buddies forever. Of course, for most people that just doesn't happen. But my friends and I, we figured out a way around that. We just never stopped playing. And I like to think that simple thing, playing a game, is what made me the man I am today. (00:00:35 - 00:01:10)

DS Andy Wainwright: You do know there are more guns in the country than there are in the city.
DS Andy Cartwright: Everyone and their mums is packin' round here!
Nicholas Angel: Like who?
DS Andy Wainwright: Farmers.
Nicholas Angel: Who else?
DS Andy Cartwright: Farmers' mums.

Archie Moses: This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.

Margaret Tate: If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... Bred for its skills in magic.

Bethany: You're saying that having beliefs is a bad thing?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.

Danny Kaye: My friend, when what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting whatever it is you've got left.

Ben Gates: Before the Civil War, the states were all separate. People used to say "the United States are..." It wasn't until the war ended that people started saying "the United States is..." Under Lincoln, we became one nation.

Juliet: A man doesn't make you strong, but the right partner can make you stronger.

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...
Andrew Clark:...and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds:...and a basket case...
Claire Standish:...a princess...
John Bender:...and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

Vitruvius: The Special has arisen.
Gandalf: Have the young man step forward.
Vitruvius: As you wish, Dubbledore.
Gandalf: I'm Gandalf!
Dumbledore: It's pronounced Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: Dubbledore?
Dumbledore: No, Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: I thought you said Dubbledore.
Gandalf: Vetruvius!
Vitruvius: Ah, we gotta write all that down 'cause I'm not gonna remember any of it, but here we go. The Special will now give an eloquent speech.

Billy: What's your stripper's stage name?
Clerk: Do I look like a stripper?
Billy: I'll just call you Cinnamon.

Harry Burns: How long do you like to be held after sex? All night, right? See, that's your problem. Somewhere between 30 seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally Albright: I don't have a problem.
Harry Burns: Yes, you do.

Volleyball Girl: You weren't at the party last night. Where were you?
Carrie: Well, it's totally on the DL. I mean, not fit to print. I'm dating... John Tucker.

Robbie: I wrote a song about you.
Georgia Nicolson: Really?!
Robbie: Yeah. It's called "Bitch in Uniform."