Back to School

Back to School (1986)

18 quotes

(5 votes)

Movie Quote Quiz

Thornton Melon: Listen, Sherlock. While you were tucked away up here working on your ethics, I was out there busting my hump in the real world. And the reason guys like you got a place to teach is 'cause guys like me donate buildings.

Thornton Melon: What's your favorite subject?
Bubbles: Poetry.
Thornton Melon: Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.

Thornton Melon: Boy, what a great-looking place. When I used to dream about going to college, this is the way I always pictured it.
Jason Melon: Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
Thornton Melon: When I used to fall asleep in high school.

Vanessa: I have absolutely nothing to wear.
Thornton Melon: You got SIX closets full of nothing to wear.
Vanessa: Are you saying I spend too much money?
Thornton Melon: You spend too much money? Nah. A lot of people go to Switzerland to get their watch fixed.
Vanessa: You have no taste, Thornton.
Thornton Melon: You're right. I married you, didn't I?

Lou: Come here. I want to tell you something.
Jason Melon: What?
Lou: You were pretty hard on your father last night.
Jason Melon: I know, but the guy doesn't understand.
Lou: I know your pop thirty years. He understands. He's a nice guy, and he's tough. Like me. I'm nice, and I'm tough. I'll give you an idea what I mean. My two boys, I put one through college and the other I put through a wall. Your papa loves you. He's lookin' out for ya. Look out for him.

Diane: Don't you ever read?
Thornton Melon: Read. Who has time? I see the movie. I'm in and out in two hours.

Dr. Phillip Barbay: ...now, not withstanding Mr. Mellon's input. The next question for us is where to build our factory?
Thornton Melon: How 'bout fantasyland?

Thornton Melon: Please, try to understand. I don't have the background for this. I mean, the high school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity, he threw the teacher out the window.

Trendy Man: Mr. Melon, your wife was just showing us her Klimt.
Thornton Melon: You too, huh? She's shown it to everybody.
Trendy Man: Well, she's very proud of it.
Thornton Melon: I'm proud of mine too. I don't go waving it around at parties, though.
Trendy Man: It's an exceptional painting.
Thornton Melon: Oh, the painting.

Vanessa: Millicent, you look charming. I love your dress. Don't you, Thornton? It's such a lovely shade of green.
Thornton Melon: Yeah, if that dress had pockets, you'd look like a pool table. You should try my Tall and Fat stores. No offense.

Diane: How would you characterize "The Great Gatsby"?
Thornton Melon: He was... uh... great.

Thornton Melon: I don't know. I can't figure women out. Today, they're... independent. They only think about themselves. Why, during sex, Vanessa - she used to scream out her own name.

Derek: That's Valerie Desmond. Look how tight her ass is today.

Derek: It's this whole stupid capitalist system, you know? It's set up to heap rewards on the advantaged and the aggressive... and to make sure that two regular schmoes like you and me never get a date with girls like Valerie Desmond. I hate the whole bourgeois mentality of this school.

Thornton Melon: When's our first class?
Jason Melon: Uh, we got Economics tomorrow at 11 o'clock.
Thornton Melon: 11 o'clock? No good. I got a massage 11 o'clock. Tell 'em to make it 2 o'clock.
Jason Melon: No, dad. Uh, you don't get it. They're not gonna re-schedule the classes around your massage.
Thornton Melon: All right, 11 o'clock, but I'm gonna talk to that Dean. I mean, these classes could be a real inconvenience.

Other mistake: After his wife has a party at their house, Thorton Melon (Dangerfield) decides to have a swim in his pool. The camera shows Melon as he is about to dive into the pool from the edge. The camera cuts away and a much "thinner" Melon is seen doing a flip into the water. Watch carefully as the "thinner" man makes his dive. You can clearly see his hairpiece fly off the top of his head.

More mistakes in Back to School

Trivia: When Mellon does the "Triple Lindy", you again can see the thinner body double's hairpiece flop in the wind to reveal a bald spot.

More trivia for Back to School

Question: I have always been curious about one thing in this movie - when Thornton was taking the oral examination, if he answered all of Dr. Barbay's questions right, why did he only get a D? How did Dean Martin not question that?

Answer: It should also be noted he got all D's and just 1 A. So it wasn't just Barbay that gave him a D.

Bishop73

Answer: We don't know that he answered all the questions right, just that he answered the last one right. Based on Barbay's upset response to that correct answer, it is likely Thornton was at the edge between a wrong answer giving him an F and a correct answer giving him the D he got.

jimba

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