Weird Al Yankovic: He had silver hair.
Vanna White: Six-two.
Weird Al Yankovic: Kind of looked like Phil Donahue.
Frank Drebin: Like a midget at a urinal, I knew I was going to have to stay on my toes.
Olympia Dukakis: What's that?
James Earl Jones: It looks like Phil Donahue throwing up into a tuba.
Frank Drebin: Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.
Zsa Zsa Gabor: [smacking police light during intro] This happens every fucking time when I go shopping.