Jack Walsh: Here come two words for you: shut the fuck up.
Rev. Brown: I got a special treat for ya' this evening, a young man that you all know as Joe the Policeman from the "What's Going Down" episode of "That's My Momma." I want you to put your hands together, and welcome him to the stage. Big round of applauds for Jackson Heights own, Mr. Randy Watson, YES! Randy Watson.
Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not pattycake! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it black, Acme's taking the cream now.
Willow: What are you doing?
Madmartigan: I found some blackroot. She loves it.
Willow: Blackroot? I am the father of two children and you never, ever give a baby blackroot.
Madmartigan: Well my mother raised us on blackroot. It's good for you. Puts hair on your chest. Doesn't it, Sticks?
Willow: Her name is not Sticks. She's Elora Danan, the future empress of Tir Asleen and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest.
Jane: How about a rain check?
Frank: Well, let's just stick to dinner.
Crash Davis: This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He's shaking me off. You believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.
Tito: Hey, man, if this is torture, chain me to the wall.
Elvira: I'd bend over backwards. I'd bend over forwards.
Rib Joint Customer: Ya got any soda?
Hammer: One dollar.
Rib Joint Customer: Aw, c'mon, now! Look out for a brother, man, c'mon, yeah. Check this out: why don't you let me get a sip for fifteen cents?
Hammer: My cups cost more than fifteen cents.
Rib Joint Customer: All right, fuck the cup. Pour it in my hand for a dime.
Daisy: I fucked up.
Charles Gordon Windsor, Jr.: Yeah... but you gave it a 100% effort.
Janet Colgate: Fellas, last year I made 3 million dollars, but your 50 thousand was the most fun. Are you ready? Then let's go get 'em.